B E. c o m i n g . . .

Wedding:: Jeff & Kylene

2011-05-05T08:20:00.016+08:00

Jeff and Kylene have known each other for years, it was one of those "it's about time!" when they got engaged. They met at Indian Hills Camp and, though very different in personality, they just work for each other. They truly compliment and strengthen each other.

They were married on a bright sunshiny day at Flinn Springs Park in Lakeside, CA and had a warm, laid back ceremony and reception -- complete with B.Y.O.C (bring your own chair) and a community potluck. It was so relaxed, like a big family had gotten together on a Sunday for lunch to celebrate. Which, I think, is exactly what they wanted. Home-spun details, friends, and family. We even got to take home-made jam as favors! yum!

No frills, just the most important things:: each other. amen, to that.

They headed off on a jet plane and moved to New York the very next day to start a new life together!

this one is so Kylene :)

Congratulations, you two!
Thanks again for letting me be a part of your special day!

Sneak Preview:: Jeff & Kylene

2011-05-01T23:29:00.008+08:00

I've been working on these images for a few months --- finally done!

Here's a sneak peak at Jeff and Kylene's beautiful casual wedding at Flinn Springs Park in Lakeside, San Diego.

More to come soon!

Engaged:: Grayson & Carolyn

2011-04-28T10:38:00.024+08:00

This past fall I was given the privilege to shoot some engagement photos for Evan's little brother Grayson and soon wife-to-be, Carolyn, up in Fresno, CA. They have been together since high school, dating for over 5 years! Now that's what I call love, patience and commitment! They finally tied the knot this past October on a gorgeous sunny Saturday.

Though a bit old, I wanted to share some of my favorites form the shoot ---> enjoy!

Congrats you two! love you both!

Lately...

2011-04-21T08:21:00.008+08:00

Been listening to this::

it reminds me of summer sunshine, being barefoot, friends, and warm nights.
it also reminds me of someone special.... :)

also this::

The whole thing was done by hand using a Lite-Brite and stop-frame animation.
LEGIT.

Reading this AND having my world rocked::

I went to see the author speak a few weeks back. fantastic! Feeling so good and only hoping for better! Seriously, go read her book!

I've been working a lot.
busy and blessed.
paying the bills.
thankful.

Looking forward to a road trip up to Modesto this weekend to visit Evan's family for Easter.

EXCITED!

Eleanor & Riccardo:: Engaged

2011-04-18T10:40:00.023+08:00

A few months back a dear friend of mine, Elly, allowed me the pleasure to shoot some engagement portraits of her and her fiance. They met in Spain while she was teaching English. Romantic, huh? She's a painter and he's an marketing wiz/coffee connoisseur. We shot in Little Italy, the perfect place for an artist and Peruvian/Italian businessman.

The session for me was practice in shooting portraits, and a technical fight against the elements: late afternoon low light, cloudy, dark, almost raining -- it did end up raining at the end, etc. As much as I deeply love people and photography, my portraiture always feels so timid, so rushed.

hence, the deep need for practice....

Enjoy some of my favorites!

Thanks Elly and Riccardo, for a wonderful afternoon of conversation, exploring, laughter, and talking of bigger things than ourselves. love you two!

Uganda Buyamba

2011-04-14T09:37:00.003+08:00

Last weekend I was blessed with the opportunity to hang out with Pastor Dongo and learn about his fabulous non-profit organization for orphan children in Uganda ----> www.ugandabuymaba.com

beautiful, isn't it?

He self-founded Buyamba Orphan Outreach and God Cares Schools in Uganda and provides housing and schooling for those without families, without money, and truly without hope. His joy was contagious! As he shared his vision, his faith and trust in the GOD who lives, loves, and provides was so BIG. I was humbled. I feel so distracted by "things" and "responsibilities" here in the U.S. But when you have nothing (like in Uganda), your dependance on what really matters is so questioned and heightened, so purely and honestly. Faith like a child. beautiful. What I strive for.

Evan and I decided together to sponsor a 12 year old girl named Sylvia who lost her parents to AIDS and has no known relatives. We couldn't be more excited to give $35 a month to provide housing, schooling, food, and hope to this beautiful girl, spiritually and physically! We also can't wait for our first letter to be sent, delivered, and to hear back from her heart --- woo!

How about you --- do you have $35 a month laying around that you might consider investing in eternity with? Such a rad opportunity.

Think about it!

Happy weekend!

2011-03-26T08:30:00.005+08:00

This past week was very busy at work and I am so looking forward to the weekend!

One of my student's Italian father -- Italian, as in he imports olive oil from his own farm in Italy and sells it on the weekends -- shared this video with me. LEGIT.

If you are are Italian or have visited Italy I bet you can resonate with at least one of these. enjoy:

Ciao!

AAAND we're back...

2011-03-23T08:06:00.009+08:00

It has been almost 6 months since I have blogged -- or rather, it has been 6 months.

A lot has gone on:

- I left China after 2 eye-opening years of teaching English
- I traveled for 3 amazing weeks through Switzerland, Italy, and France
- I came back to the USA!
- I moved back home with my fantastic parents
- I got a job! 2 jobs actually, working for the YMCA
- I am now an almost working adult. ha

My hope in 2011 is to improve my photography, improve my health, and improve my mind. Hopefully this blog will be a platform in which to do, share, discuss, and learn these things.

SO...to begin. A few photos from Europe:

Perhaps I will post more soon...

here's to blogging again!

In honor of the English language.

2010-07-02T14:43:00.003+08:00

The school semester officially ended last Friday with games, candy, and breaking the news of my leaving in September to my kiddos. I am now on a 2 week break enjoying sleeping in, exercising, reading, preparing for summer school classes, cooking, cleaning, and of course, hanging out with Evan. :)

The sun has been shining, the sky has been blue, and my A/C is now fully functional with the arrival of summer's heat and humidity. It may sound silly...but I am so very thankful for air-conditioning! Especially having lived in sub-tropical countries!

In honor of finishing school and the sillyness that comes with teaching the English language, a video:

CLICK!!! -----> This hilarious video is what English sounds like to non-native speakers.

***Note: they are not speaking a language at all, just making sounds, so basically gibberish.

fab. and a good laugh.

Happy summer, everyone! 9 weeks left until my adventure to Europe and back to the US begins!

wow.

2010-05-21T11:44:00.000+08:00

"I only love God as much as I love the person I love the least." - Dorothy Day

Think about that one for a while.

ouch.

Spring weather, books, and learning grace.

2010-05-14T13:06:00.004+08:00

May is halfway over here in southern China, and the summer warmth is slowly descending. The weather ranges from cloudy and dreary, to bursting sunshine and distant polluted clouds. The sky tries so hard to be blue and on some days, nearly succeeds, amidst the gray haze of pollution.

I do so miss sunshine and blue skies. I have concluded that I need it to survive - and not just for biological reasons (e.i. Vitamin D). It lifts my spirit, my being, my whole soul. A photograph of San Diego's Black's Beach cliffs covers my computer desktop at school, bringing memories of the beauty of home, a beauty I have come to appreciate being away.

I have been reading and have successfully finished several books:
"Boundaries"
"Soul Cravings"
"The Giver"
and I'm currently half-way through Yancey's "What's So Amazing About Grace?"

I feel so accomplished when turning the final page in a book, closing the back cover, and setting it back on the shelf. I feel accomplished doing some silly things like:
- making and crossing off lists (post-college life has made me a list-maker...)
- finishing glass jars of food. like almond butter. I find some sort of serious commitment when opening a glass jar of goodness and I don't like to see it go to waste.
- successfully completing a pilates workout, or yoga. ouch!

I have 6 weeks left of the school term and, while emotionally/mentally I am winding down, I'm trying to give my best and all these last few classes with my students. I was recently give the ENTIRE responsibility of teaching our summer school program, which began as an unreasonably huge request by my superiors. But with patience, prayer, and several conversations, there has been compromise and it will be doable. At the very least, it will be yet another learning experience for me - I'll be teaching the older grades, which I have never taught before, nor know the extent of their English knowledge,comprehension, or usage. Learn to swim by jumping in, right?

With each passing day I am hopeful for the future.

I am learning so much about grace.
about forgiveness.
about love.
about trust.

"There will be no escape from wars, from hunger, from misery, from racial discrimination, from denial of human rights, and not even from missiles, if our hearts are not changed." - Lance Morrow

Hoping for a changed heart as I leave China, to better show His grace and love to this broken world.

Happy Reasons.

2010-04-12T11:35:00.004+08:00

Some simple happy reasons having Evan here is making my life so much richer:

1. I have someone to cook, eat, and clean up dinner with.

2. On his days off (which are usually mid-week days) he can go to the market for me so I don't have to go after a long day of work. woo!

3. He helps me clean my apartment. Note** I clean it weekly, but my roommate doesn't, so cleaning the whole place by myself takes hours and effort (and with only 1 day off a week, I'd rather not spend the whole day cleaning). With 2 people it's much faster! yes!

4. I have someone to ride the bus, taxis, rickshaws, motorbikes, and walk the streets with - not only is that much safer, but much more fun!

5. He can bargain cheaper public transportation prices than I can.

6. I have a co-teacher for the volunteer adult English class I teach at the Bible college once a week. It's so fun to teach together! The students laugh at us every week. :)

7. Hanging out with my male friends is less awkward, and it also opens doors to hang out with more couples, and people in general.

8. I have someone to bake cookies for - who will actually help me eat them. And cook pancakes, french toast, and Mexican food, who actually likes BEANS (sent with love from my parents).

9. I have support, encouragement, affirmation and am being challenged daily to live like Him by someone, in the flesh.

10. I have a friend daily, who I can talk to, laugh with, learn with, grow with, and strive to love this sometimes frustrating and difficult world with.

I am becoming more and more fond of the word "with." I guess that's why God says, "Do not fear for I am with you, do not be dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you and keep you, I will uphold you with my righteous right arm." And why Jesus says, "Never will I leave you."

Life together - it is truly a gift!

5 months left. still naive.

2010-04-09T16:11:00.001+08:00

The decision has finally been made, the formal letter given, a simple grunt of "okay" received.
I will leave Shantou this coming September bound for the beauty of central Europe for a small soul retreat before heading back to the US, back home, back to family.

Home is relative these days.
"Home is where you and I belong."
"Home is where I belong with you."
Home is with the people my heart so deeply loves.

I am at peace with my decision. Though it will be difficult to leave the little faces I have so deeply poured my everything into, the often frustrating culture that I have so tried to understand and learn from, the new experiences, the places, the faces, the laughter and tears, the new life I have somehow constructed and lived on my own, my time is coming to a close. I can say goodbye in peace. I feel I'm being called to a season of "normalcy;" a time with family, working, paying bills, being an "adult," sorting through all my heart, mind, and soul have seen and experienced, being. "Normal" now will become my new adventure. yikes....

Chris Rice sings so many of my heart's questions these days well:

How long until You defend Your name and set the record right
And how far will You allow the human race to run and hide
And how much can You tolerate our weaknesses
Before You step into our sky blue and say "That's quite enough!"

Am I naive to want a remedy for every bitter heart?
Can I believe You hold an exclamation point for every question mark?
And can I leave the timing of this universe in bigger hands?
And may I be so bold to ask You to please hurry?

I hear that a God who's good would never let the evil run so long
But I say it's because You're good You're giving us more time, yeah
Cause I believe that You love to show us mercy
But when will You step into our sky blue
And say "That's quite enough, and your time is up!"

Am I naive to want a remedy for every bitter heart
Can I believe You hold an exclamation point for every question mark
And can I leave the timing of this universe in bigger hands
And may I be so bold to ask You to please hurry?

Am I naive...
Can I believe...
And can I leave...in bigger hands
And may I be so bold to ask You, to ask You, to ask You

How long?

News from AGES ago...

2010-03-06T15:09:00.002+08:00

Hello world (outside of China)!

Yes, I am still alive and yes, still very much in the PRC.

Due to horrible internet connectivity and a lessening amount of patience, along with Chinese New Year holiday and a fabulous vacation home to the beautiful southern California, I have been M.I.A in the blog world.

SO....what's new?

1. I am currently loving and thankful for btunnel.com - though I can't post pictures or leave comments/interact, I CAN check Facebook, my blog, and other such censored and blocked sites here. woo!

2. My vacation home was absolutely fabulous. It included sleeping, eating Mexican food, visiting family and friends, digging a HUGE hole in our backyard to help my mom plant fruit trees, enjoying the beach, sunshine, blue skies, warm weather, a soft bed, real water pressure, a roadtrip to Modesto with my mom to visit Evan's family, a visit to Old Sacramento, a weekend in Big Bear playing in the snow, and overall just loving being home.

3. I am not alone anymore! Yes, it's true. My boyfriend Evan came back to Shantou with me to teach at another school in the city. He currently has a 6 mo. contract helping adults better their English skills and helping high school students prepare for exams allowing them to study abroad in English speaking countries. The work is easy, the pay decent, and I am MORE than happy to finally have a friend and companion in this often lonely city. Praise God! My dinners are no longer eaten alone in front of my computer screen and my weekends now have a buddy to roam the streets with. yay!

China is still big, busy, and full of people.

I have 6 months left in my contract and am currently praying about extending it or moving onto my next adventure.

I am back at school and busy as ever, doing my best do learn this teaching thing.

HE is still good.

"Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a dream fulfilled is a tree of life." - Proverbs 30:12

Seeking my dreams, still finding my heart, and knowing it all leads to Him in the end.

Christmas 2009 (a little late)

2009-12-28T17:46:00.019+08:00

Well, Christmas and now New Years has come and gone here in southern China. I have been trying to post for weeks but due to the "Great Firewall of China," my interent would not allow. Anywho...this year's holiday proved to be new, different, special, and memorable (such a change from last year. ugh). Praise God!

My Christmas 2009:

This holiday season I have been more aware, I think, than ever before, just want this holiday is truly about. As I struggle to share my life and therein my faith with those around me, my lack of words, my lack of close relationship, and the barriers and blocks of an ancient culture deeply rooted in tradition, have left my heart sobered and thoughtful as I gaze at the faces I pass daily. They don't know my Jesus, they don't know his grace, his hope, his joy, his freedom, nor the life that he brings. So I desperately tried to share that joy in the small ways.

Christmas week at school I scrapped "real" learning and we did crafts and learned holiday words. The kids were gearing up for their big dance performance anyway, and didn't need a load of new English words on top of their little pressured heads. So why not have fun?

we made hand-print Christmas trees:

I let each teacher make the star - to be a part of our tree :)

we made paper stockings that they sewed together with string.

I then filled them ALL with candy the night before Christmas for them to find the next day at school. It was a total hit ---> :)

we also made snowmen which ended up all sorts of fabulous colors:

And then Christmas Day afternoon the kids put on their dance and song performance. Pictures to come...too many to sort through right now.

My holiday weekend (in which I was given 3 days off this year! woo!) finished with the self- assigned challenge of cooking an "American Christmas" dinner for several dear friends I have made here. After 2 1/2 hours of cooking, 6 potatoes, 4 breasts of chicken, 2 lbs. of green beans, lots of yummy caramalized onions, 2 sweet potatoes, 1 loaf of French bread, and a box of Stove Top stuffing somehow balanced between 2 stove burners and limited cookware, equaled a pretty tasty dinner all eaten in paper bowls with chopsticks - Chinese style.

I don't have enough dishes to entertain and it's silly to buy them, so paper it was.
And no one here likes forks anyway.

My roommate Sammy even joined for a little while (that's amazing, trust me!).
R to L: Joy, Sammy, Johny (Evan's future boss and friend), Terry, and Anita.
These people have been an answer to many prayers.

beautiful people. beautiful experiences. a beautiful life.
I am truly blessed.

Happy New Year, everyone!

Joyeux Noel and Christmas Bells

2009-12-16T17:32:00.022+08:00

I watched this movie last night, Joyeux Noel, and wept.

I wept because it honors the story of the historical cease fire that occurred on Christmas Eve during WWI between the Scottish, French, and Germans.

I wept because it displays how ugly people can be, fearful, prideful, arrogant, ignorant, capable of so much harm.

But I also wept because it so beautifully displays people and their desire and capacity for good, for love, peace, friendship, desire for home, the desire to do right, even in the bleakest of times and toughest of circumstances.

I wept because it showes life, our broken world, the horrors that have happened, the lives that have been lost, history that has been shaped for good and bad, and the never ending cry of a world needing a Savior.

I wept because it was beautiful, the message was so absolutely beautiful. And something I so needed to be reminded of this Christmas.

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow writes in his poem (also about war times) "Christmas Bells:"

I HEARD the bells on Christmas Day
Their old, familiar carols play,
And wild and sweet
The words repeat
Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

And thought how, as the day had come,
The belfries of all Christendom
Had rolled along
The unbroken song
Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

Till ringing, singing on its way,
The world revolved from night to day,
A voice, a chime,
A chant sublime
Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

Then from each black, accursed mouth
The cannon thundered in the South,
And with the sound
The carols drowned
Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

It was as if an earthquake rent
The hearth-stones of a continent,
And made forlorn
The households born
Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

And in despair I bowed my head;
"There is no peace on earth," I said;
"For hate is strong,
And mocks the song
Of peace on earth, good-will to men!"

Then pealed the bells more loud and deep:
"God is not dead, nor doth He sleep;
The Wrong shall fail,
The Right prevail,
With peace on earth, good-will to men."

This poem chokes me up.

Living overseas has opened my eyes and heart to this world in more ways than I ever could have imaged. I resonate with Longfellow's cry about a world filled with hate, mocking, and war. I have experienced (albeit on a much smaller scale) just how real that is. I have been broken. I have cried. I have been left standing in awe, absolutely confused about all that is behind, beside and before me.

But I have also heard the bells peal victoriously that "God is not dead, nor doth He sleep; the wrong shall fail, the right prevail, with peace on earth, good-will to men!"

I cling to those words daily. The bride of Christ is broken and ugly, be she is still the bride, and she is ever growing, ever changing, ever bettering, daily. I am a part of that body of Christ. And I have been called to love a world that does not know the hope of eternal peace, that hates, mocks, and fights. But He is coming back! He is alive! And this Christmas I am clinging to this truth and promise more than ever before.

Joyeux Noel, Merry Christmas, from my heart to yours!

THANKSgiving!

2009-12-12T10:19:00.034+08:00

This Thanksgiving 2009, I was fortunate enough to go home for a dear friend's wedding right around the time of our holiday of thanks, so I swung my holiday time to include my country's beloved festivities before I headed back to the PRC.

Though my family is small (um, 3 of us), our holidays have always been fantastic, A+, amazing in every way, from decorations to food, festivities to family traditions. Yes. But this year, my family and I went north to Evan's home in Modesto to spend the holiday with his family = woo!

I didn't do much shooting because, well, basically, I just wanted to sit back and enjoy the people (sometimes I get so wrapped up behind the camera that I spend the whole time shooting, which can be good - I guess it has it's pluses and minuses...). I'm not around people who know, love, like, and don't stare at me often. ;)

It was big. Let's see, 18 people I think?

Loud, warm, yummy, wonderful...but waaay too fast.

Enjoy!

THE bird.
26 lbs. of it!

Evan and THE bird.

Megan and Dustin's new kitty, Monkey.
yes, the cat's name is Monkey.

family :)

Tayla - how adorable is she?

Grandma Maggie's hands
making bread for over 80 years.

Grandma Dorothy
I think I just have a thing for grandmas :)

my amazing mom :)

the kid table
oh, Dustin... ;)

the adult table

PIE!!!

5 homemade pies baked by my very own mother!

If getting accepted into the Conrad/Ford family
was based on the taste of pies,
we're SO in now.
A+!

Modesto was even nice enough to give me a good splash of fall color before I left.
Not much yellow in subtropical southern China.

I have so much to be thankful for (even though it's December now and almost Christmas):
- my salvation
- God's grace and love
- my wonderful family
- Evan
- wonderful friends
- this opportunity to serve and learn in China
- the list goes on and on

As we are a few weeks out for Christmas, may Jesus truly be the reason for the season, for your life, for the reason you wake up everyday, for love. Today and always!

Let the world see that today in you!

art...yes!!!

2009-12-11T19:03:00.004+08:00

My dad sent me this video link the other day to this fab Chinese artist working out of Beijing...

Check it out! it's so work the click -----> Liu Bolin aka "The Invisible Man"

Also check out his info and photos of his work on artnet = yum!

As someone who has been to Beijing and seen the change he addresses taking place first-hand, his work seems to be something that can really speak to China right now, as well as our ever changing world. With China's history of war, warlords, cultural revolution, to communism, holding to the past while moving forward is a constant push and pull for all people. Also, Beijing has a really influential and active art community, if you didn't know.

Thanks for the link, Dad!

yay for art!

just because.

2009-12-05T20:59:00.008+08:00

It's not just because he's handsome, is wearing plaid, and is climbing around in the mountains ---> all very good things. ha.

basically...

I just really enjoy these images.

so enjoy.
because I do.

A quick trip home: Allison's Wedding and Julian

2009-11-30T17:57:00.030+08:00

7 days + 4 major events + 1 holiday = one amazing but busy week!

I just returned this past weekend from a whirlwind trip back to California for a week to be in a dear friend's wedding, take a trip to the mountains outside San Diego, up to LA to see my girlfriends, and celebrate a beautiful and blessed Thanksgiving up in Modesto with Evan's family.

**Side rant: I say up because Modesto is north and north to me implies up. Evan always says down, which to me implies south. And it can't be south because we drive north. San Diego is south, down, Modesto is north, up. ha. Seriously, opinions anyone?

Anywho...

7 days of jam-packed activity, fighting off a cold, jet lag, and major time difference, but it all was covered by prayers of dear friends. I survived (barely) and after 3 planes, long layovers, and horrible airplane food I am back in Shantou.

My trip began with celebrating Evan and I's 2 year anniversary of dating...

I made him a paper crane mobile from copies of journal entries about him over the past 2 years ---> :)

Then the gorgeous wedding of Nathan and (now!) Allison Van Egmond = yay!

Allison and I have been friends since before we were born.

yep, before.

Our mothers met in an pregnancy aerobic class and we were born 2 1/2 weeks apart.
We have been to every birthday and major life event over the past 24 years so of course, though I currently reside in China, I had to be there and was blessed to be a part of it.

Isn't she beautiful??

Then it was off to a day trip up the mountains outside San Diego to the small town of Julian.

which of course turned into a photo shoot. ha.

The hills and mountains were gorgeous in their fall color!

I have SO learned to the love the desert and it's beauty growing up in San Diego and it's surrounding area.

Julian was quaint and lovely as always...

We, of course, ate Mom's pie (but not as good as my mom's)...

And we, of course, tried on hats.

many hats.

because we're rad like that. :)

My mom is lovely as ever.

And the setting sun as we drove down the mountains back to San Diego was just stunning.

dusk is my absolute favorite time of day!

AND that was just my first 3 days back! whew!

My amazing (but fast!) Thanksgiving up in Modesto with Evan's amazing family photos coming soon!

A Chinese Hotpot experience.

2009-11-12T16:21:00.004+08:00

My internet has been off lately not allowing me to post - sorry to my few readers... :)

Anywho...

Since "winter" is slowly dawning upon us here in Shantou (we really only have summer and spring with one month of winter), the season of eating hotpot has begun. "Hotpot" is basically a style of eating where you have a table with a burner in the middle where a pot is placed filled with broth. Plates of meat, veggies, and noodles are brought out and the eaters cook and eat as the like by putting the various edibles in the broth and then fish them out with ladles, spoons, and chopsticks. It usually takes several hours to eat leaving room for much laughter, drinking, and of course, eating! I am always stuffed after eating hotpot. It supposedly keeps you warm and helps you sleep - but I think that's due to overeating, not the hotpot. ;) It's a great meal to eat on a chilly evening and in the company of good people.

Last night I went to have hotpot with some employees from Lafayette. We went to a supposedly really good lamb, or as they say, mutton, restaurant. We entered a large, noisy, crowded warehouse type room, typical for many Chinese restaurants, and sat at a large table with, of course, a large burner in the middle. Our broth was brought out (it had a WHOLE tomato in it - ha, usually they take the time to at least cut it) and our plates of meat arrived.

Now I know lamb is usually gray in color, but not this gray. And I have eaten plenty of weird things in China, but this array of meat was one of the most bizarre...and frightening:

- lamb heart
- bones (some identifiable ones)
- tendons
- thick pieces of skin
- lots of lamb fat
- big chunks of veiny stomach
- lamb balls (balls of meat, not testicles)
- one item that resembled either a tail, ear, or toe
- 1 identifiable dish that even they didn't know what it was

You know it's bad if even Chinese people can't identify the food or want to eat it . . .

Yikes!

I watched as my friends slowly started to say they were full, " wo chi bao le" and didn't want to eat anymore. They started out being polite about it (you know, save face), but eventually the walls came down and we all began to laugh about the grossness of our meal. We ended up serving most of the meat into poor Gordon's bowl, the man who had suggested the restaurant in the first place. I think we all unanimously decided that we do NOT want to see lamb for quiet some time!

I am thankful for an open mind...and an open stomach, the ability to laugh, and gag reflexes that stayed quiet.

Ah, China. You never cease to give me unforgettable experiences.

*thumbs up*

And they grow up so fast.

2009-11-04T16:55:00.005+08:00

This past week has marked my 14th month living in China. crazy!

And in that realization, I have been very aware of just how much my students are growing up - "like weeds" to coin the old expression. In the past year, I have watched their little minds and bodies change so much. They have grown taller, last year's uniforms now sporting their brown ankles, they have cut their hair, their English has improved. I have developed deeper relationships, friendships almost, and I have gained trust as their teacher.

Trust.I stop sometimes in awe of that little word.

Do you ever stop and think about just how many things in your day you are trust to work/happen/go? Like, will the chair hold you when you sit in it? Will your car drive you to your destination? Will the bus/metro/taxi/bike travel safely? Will your computer work and allow you to check this blog? ha. Etc. I realize my students really have no basis for English outside the walls of our little school, so everything I tell them, they take in - correct or incorrect, grammatically sound or not, correct pronunciation or not. I have made my mistakes. ha. Pressures on!

Their little faces I have come to know. I can pick out their voices in the bathroom as they chatter loudly. I know generally how they will do on writing assignments, activities, games, review. Their little faces, expressions, and mannerisms forever imprinted on my mind and heart:

---> the little girl who's whole face lights up in ecstatic contortions as she tries to formulate sentences.

---> the boy who points at himself with a huge, gaping, smiling mouth when I call on him to answer a question, as if to say, "Really, ME?!?!"

---> the girl who tries to so hard to win at EVERYTHING that she breaks into tears when she looses the game or mixes up words, making students laugh.

---> the girl who truly does know it all, and sits quietly, trying to hold herself in, so others have to answer. Or the funny fact that the whole class looks to her for direction and answers - she's 8 years old! sheesh!

---> the boy with the cutest dimples, the one who practically chokes trying to get those tough English words through his lips, the little teacher's pet who is an angel in every class, the ones who come up just to touch me and be close for a few minutes.

I know those faces and I have come to love them so.

And I will miss them when our roads part someday... but they will forever be in my heart.

Thoughts on long distance.

2009-10-25T08:42:00.010+08:00

I have had a somewhat furrowed brow lately when a certain subject comes up: long distance relationships.

People mean well when asking about Evan and I's relationship status, but there's a part of me that is frustrated by the question. Let me explain...

Evan and I will have been dating for 2 years next month and over half of that has been apart. Not by choice, mind you, (I mean, I did choose to move to China...) but it's just the way life and the Lord has lead each of us as we are two separate individuals. Often people ask us, "How are you guys doing?" And of course I love to answer positively, but often the question is asked with a little doubt and hesitation. Especially when other guys ask Evan how he is doing with it. Like are you two still okay, still together, still willing to do this, etc.? Are we going to survive this distance or fail? I find myself a bit frustrated at this stereotype - as true as it may be.

I know the statistics of long distance relationships are slim and many (if not most) do not work well or survive. But I think the survival is based on what the relationship is founded on:

- friendship
- love
- commitment
- loyalty
- honesty
- trust in each other
- trust in the Lord
- A LOT of determination
- surrender of a life that I do not own, both mine and his

It has to be - whether you are living in the same city or across the world. It doesn't change. You're still two different people, with different pasts, different baggage, faults, perks and quirks. It's work to be with someone, choosing to be selfless, honest, give and not always receive, take when it's sometimes difficult, to listen, to share.

But an ocean, continent, or time zone doesn't change that - or I don't think it should.

I left US soil with tears in my eyes as I looked at that tall, handsome, bearded man. But I never for an instant thought this was going to fail when I chose to go to a whole new world for 2 years while he continued living in his. And I don't see it in the future, ever.

So long distance stereotype, take that: 2 wonderful years and going strong! And here's to many more wonderful years together - whether physically present or not.

AND for all of you that do ask, I mean no disrespect. I thank you so much for lovingly asking how we are doing. And I love to tell that we are, still, amazingly well. :)

The most beautiful candy in the world

2009-10-23T17:34:00.005+08:00

Or it has to be close.

I was given a little box of candies for my birthday by a dear friend in Hong Kong. I opened it to discover these magnificent little works of sugar.

Check out these little beauties:

They are made of 2 gum drops and decorated with hard sugar frosting -
you have to lick quite hard to remove their features and accessories.

A blue penguin holding a basket with bread and an apple inside.
How cute is that?!?

a penguin
a monkey complete with scarf and leaf
a duck complete with basket and decorated egg
and a yellow tiger holding a small bunny

Amazing. I almost hate to eat them they're so fantastic.

But alas, they are slowly disappearing...

It still happens...

2009-10-18T19:16:00.005+08:00

Today was a beautiful breezy Sunday in Shantou. After finding out this past week that our new 2nd grade teacher is a fellow believer (um so rad!!!), AND that she goes to church weekly at the church behind my house, I asked if I could join her for service today. Though I only understand about 5% of it, I still went and I still try. ha.

I crossed the street to "Love Church" meeting my new friend and her cheerful face. We climbed the stairs to the 2nd floor of the building where the main sanctuary is located, and sat down in one of the long, yellow, wooden pews. An elderly lady eagerly sat down next to me asking if I spoke Chinese and looking in awe at my thick English Bible. She patted my arms enthusiastically telling me I was beautiful.

A few minutes later, a woman came in and sat a few pews before us. She was holding a very small baby. Several women crowded around her and a hushed conversation and questioning began to ensue. My friend went over to ask what was going on. I was amazed, shocked, and horrified to hear her report:

The baby, a little girl, maybe a few months old, was found on the side of the road with a bag of clothes and, I think, a note scribbled on some scrap paper that the ladies were passing around. The one woman had heard her crying and found her. Apparently, the little baby is sick. She was "thrown away" my friend told me in broken English. The women all gathered around, passing her little body from one pair of brown weathered arms to the next, the baby's little head flailing about, her little black eyes staring up blankly. They rocked and hushed her, trying to feed her from a bottle that was found in the bag. They sifted through the rest of the bag finding a small pile of clothes, some canned milk, and shook their heads. She was so small. Abandoned. "Thrown away."

My heart just broke.

Was it because she was sick? A girl? No money to take her to the doctor? Or no money to feed yet another mouth in family? All probable reasons that happen everyday here. I have students whose siblings have been sold for money. I will never know the answer.

I talked to my friend Gen in Cambodia tonight and after I told her the story she asked dumbfounded, "Now what will happen to her?"

I don't know...

Somewhere in this city tonight is a woman without her baby. Does she cry? Does she care?

It still happens, everyday.

Green Oranges?

2009-10-15T17:56:00.009+08:00

China has these wonderful green oranges, yes, green, that are just going out of season right now. I bought this one for about a yuan and a half = about 2 US cents. ha.

Isn't it lovely?

They have NO seeds, are juicy and sweet, and peel SO easily.
The perfect afternoon snack - or anytime!

Side note: I've never lived in a country where fruit and vegetables actually go out of season completely (us spoiled Americans...) so I'll have to say goodbye until next fall.

In other news: I've completely fallen IN LOVE with Etsy! Check it out for all things wonderful, handmade, amazingly creative, original and craft-sy: ----> www.etsy.com

TOMS

2009-10-12T17:01:00.007+08:00

I love TOMS shoes !!!

I have purchased 2 pairs, loved one to death (in which my big toe now peeks out), and would buy one in almost every color if I could afford it. ha.

You buy one pair ranging from about $42 - $65 and another is donated to a child without shoes in a poverty stricken country. TOMS is currently working in several countries in South America and Africa. It is a growing company, gaining more recognition and respect nationally and globally, and continues to deliver fab, comfy, original, colorfully fun slip on shoes.

Evan and I have matching ones ---> :)

They're a bit expensive considering you could go to Payless and get a pair for under $20, but there's a great feeling about spending $42 dollars knowing a beautiful child will get to enjoy them too. And you get to kick around in them which is oh so fun. People ask me about mine all the time and I love telling the story. "One for One" as TOMS says.

To read more, go check it out ----> www.tomsshoes.com

Yay for happy, feel-good shoes - literally!

New Goal...

2009-10-10T17:27:00.005+08:00

I have a new goal for myself.

It's a bit selfish but also artistically challenging.

When I first came to China I blogged quite a bit. But after a hard drive failure, China's relentless internet blocking, and slow VPN service, I just gave up - unless there were big thoughts.

BUT I want to change that...

I am committing to try to post at least 3 times a week, both thoughts and photos (Lord knows I have 1000s of images!), whether deep and thoughtful or random and silly, to share my life with those few to stop by. By doing this, people may follow my blog (woo!) and I may challenge myself to edit and post photos consistently. I do on my other site ---> www.jennifergerberding.aminus3.com

AND images are always more fun, right?

So...I begin with some randomness...

My current CD wishlist (that I'm stealing sneak peeks of via itunes, myspace, and youtube):

Hillsong United's new "Tear Down the Walls"

David Crowder Band's new "Church Music"

Vertical Horizon's new "Burning the Days"

Any other musical suggestions?

Not that I have any money to buy new cds...ha.

Birthdays, Blessings, and A Bounty of Love

2009-10-09T19:29:00.013+08:00

ha. Do you like my alliteration?

Yesterday was my 24th birthday, my 2nd birthday celebrated in China, and will be probably be one of the most memorable in my life. I awoke early to a bright sunshine and walked my usual jaunt through dirty streets to school. I arrived and was greeted with a few shy "Happy Birthday"s. When I entered my 2rd grade class however, I was quickly shooed out. As faces giggled with anticipation and finally motioned me to enter, I was greeted with a big chalk banner that read an enthusiastic "HAPPY BIRTHDAY JENNIFER KAYE GERBERDING!" ha. I had used my name in a lesson once about vowels vs. consonants and had written out my entire name on the board for the kids to see (how many vowels? how many consonants?). The teacher had taken note and remembered. After proudly declaring "Happy Birthday" they ran at me and literally hurled letters, cards, and precious pieces of paper gifts in my face.

My 3rd grace class was much of the same: a written message of well wishes from the teacher, TONS of cards and gifts, and proud smiles. They also sang at the top of their voices the o-so-familiar tune (slightly altered due to lack of English knowledge) and beamed with pride. Oh, and my first graders told me "Happy Birthday" too - just in Chinese. They don't know it in English.

Lunch time concluded with one of my 3rd grade students, a smart yet needy little boy, delivering a cake to my office desk. Apparently his father owns a cake shop. A whole Chinese cake. wow.

I also decided to be adventurous and try cook/sort of bake a boxed Funfetti cake in my rice-cooker...

yes, my rice-cooker.

And it worked. sort of. well, basically.

See?

The day ended with dinner out with my dear friends Anita and Terry and joining their father and family for his birthday celebration - it turns out we're birthday buddies!

Cards. Drawings. Paper foldings. Songs. Gifts. Hugs. From both students AND teachers (the teachers were definitely involved). 2 cakes. Time with dear friends who let me be a part of their family for the evening. A beautiful and blessed birthday with more love than I truly expected. I am humbly surprised. It was a love I have not experienced from this Chinese world that I have been a part of for the past year.

And thanks for all your Facebook messages, friends. I definitely felt your love from around the world.

Ah, birthdays.
Growing older.
Growing up.
Hopefully, growing wiser and more like Jesus.
I am truly filled with joy.

Anyone want some cake?

Beautiful Cultural Exhaustion

2009-10-05T15:31:00.008+08:00

I have just returned from 5 days of vacation (or "holiday" as they say here) staying with a friend in Hong Kong and then visiting her small hometown/village of Dongguan for Mid-Autumn Festival.

I am absolutely culturally e x h a u s t e d !

This past month of September was busy: first month of school, getting back into routine and schedule, planning lessons, new students, new Chinese classes, connecting with friends outside of school, and trying to balance my heart and head. It finished with 8 days vacation and the chance to see and experience some Chinese culture as never before.

After boarding a train (I find train travel rather romantic by the way...) we traveled a quick 45 minutes to the small town of Dongguan, China. We grabbed a taxi and made our way to her home in the city: a four-story cement and tile home with a gate, patio area, and room for PLENTY of family. I spent the 2 day period with about 25 family members, visiting 100 year-old ancestral temples, viewing small clustered family homes in now abandoned villages, walking through farm land, eating raw sugar cane, touching the leaves of growing vegetables, chasing chickens, seeing Sally's home in another village, walking ancient streets, seeing rural Chinese life, hiking hills in the setting sun, watching ancestral worship practices, experiencing a fire dragon dance in the town square, taking photos, seeing faces and places I have never dreamed of.

Before all this chaos of the senses, I was able to be quiet and read a bit and was greeted with a verse that I so want to exemplify my heart, my soul and my life, now and always:

Two things I ask of you, O Lord; do not refuse me before I die:
Keep falsehood and lies far from me;
give me neither poverty nor riches, but give me only my daily bread.
Otherwise, I may have too much and disown you and say, "Who is the LORD?"
Or I may become poor and steal and so dishonor the name of my God.

- Proverbs 30:7-9

I have experience so much, both around the world and in China, that has challenged me deeply on what it means to truly have enough, on how to live, fully. I have slept on floors, under stars, on planks, in makeshift beds, in churches, in tents, in hotels, in homes. I have eaten with my hands, with chopsticks, sat on stools, in the dirt, in buses, on chairs, and eaten foods I would never have tasted otherwise. I have showered with buckets, in fancy showers, with hot water, icy water, in old pink tubs. I have rubbed shoulders with people who have more than plenty, and I have sat with people with almost nothing. I have found joy both places - but it's usually with the less.

What do I truly need in this life?

I only want enough. That is what HE promises to those who are HIS children. But what is enough? I am learning more and more that it is: the love of family, of friends, clothes, no matter what color or brand, sturdy shoes, a full tummy (of rice, vegetables, or even chicken feet), a roof over my head. I want to constantly be dependent on HIM and not myself, so that I may see that HE is the sustainer of my life, not me. It is not my working, striving, or saving. While good, it's all a matter or perspective and motivation. I want to truly believe that in riches or poor, HE is faithful, present, and providing. Always. Giving enough.

Dongguan, China: A beautiful yet broken city, one bound in tradition and superstition, one of age and simplicity, one full of family, who despite differences, are still family.

I am grateful to have walked in their shoes for a day.

Talking myself through life.

2009-09-13T16:08:00.002+08:00

Somedays I truly love life, most of them actually.

But some days are a bit harder.

I am an optimist and have always tried to see the best in everything. But after living in China this past year, I have become more of a realist - I am still very much a dreamer, passionate, and positive - but I have now lived in a city whose language I barely speak, who's people move through each day like clockwork working, always working, driven by making money or just plain survival, where I have had little to no community, few true friends who want to spend time with me (not JUST so they can learn English), and with a roommate who doesn't want to share her life with me. It has left me a bit of a pessimist at times.

I am thankful for my job. Most days I love it. I love the kids, no questions, but teaching them is intimidating. I love walking the streets when I feel safe (which is rare) like early mornings when less people are out to stare, gawk, and yell as they pass me by. I love that I have been fortunate to see a whole different world than the one I grew up in, who's language is completely different from mine, who's history and culture is far different from mine, places and face I would never have seen otherwise. I am thankful for the crazy food, the short bits of travel, and the new adventures.

But somedays, I just want to go home: home being my parents, my friends, people who share my values, morals, and ideas, who know me, who love me, who truly want me in their lives - no strings attached.

I often "talk myself through life" it feels. When, for no reason, I wake up feeling out of place and particularly far away, I read my Bible, try to quote Scripture, listen to worship music, journal my thoughts, and try to center myself in Him. It's often the only thing that gets me through those days.

I have such a long way to go in this life to become like Christ, to be a good daughter, friend, girlfriend, colleague, employee, human being. I lack patience, courage, confidence, humility, the ability to listen and not react, to rest and wait in and on my Lord. I have so far to go.

But I am trying. Each day that I talk myself through, I am trying.

Give me one pure and holy passion
Give me one magnificent obsession
Give me one glorious ambition for my life
To know and follow hard after You

To know and follow hard after you
To grow as your disciple in your truth
This world is empty, pale, and poor
Compared to knowing you, my Lord
Lead me on and I will run after you

2 beautiful WHAM-Os

2009-09-03T17:45:00.003+08:00

...in one quiet morning.

Thank you, Thomas Merton:

"Suffering, therefore must make sense to us not as a vague universal necessity, but as something demanded by our own personal destiny. When I see my trials not as the collision of my life with a blind machine called fate, but as the sacramental gift of Christ's love, given to me by God the Father along with my identity and my very name, then I can consecrate them and myself with them to God. For then I realize that my suffering is not my own. It is the Passion of Christ, stretching out its tendrils into my life in order to bear rich clusters of grapes, making my soul dizzy with the wine of Christ's love, and pouring that wine as strong as fire upon the whole world."

AND thank you Oswald Chambers:

"You can never set apart for God something that you desire for yourself to achieve your own satisfaction...You must sacrifice it, pouring it out to God - something that your common sense says is an absurd waste...Even love must be transformed by being poured out to the Lord."

Thinking about: life, love, family, friends, comforts, Heaven, true home, Jesus, and living life with an open hand.

let the wind fall wild across my path
even though we barely move, there's no turning back
there is a river; there is a road
place of holy riches untold
it's where i'm s'pposed to be
where i'm s'pposed to be
my heavenly

i know it never feels right
to let go of the safety we're used to holding so tight
but there is a lion underneath these skies
though love cries (though love cries)
though love cries, love will rise
my, my, my heavenly

so fly me higher, higher
hope fill me, keep me here
love lion, my, my...

so when i'm lonely or when i'm old
life is more behind me
all the stories have been told
i can fix my gaze up through the clouds
where i'm gonna be
where i'm gonna be
my heavenly

my, my heavenly
my heavenly

Lessons from Lazarus.

2009-08-30T11:32:00.008+08:00

I received this email in my google inbox this morning, a refreshing daily does of truth I get from Hong Kong, and a reminder that I needed to hear, especially today.

Evan left yesterday, and along with him, a huge part of my heart.

I came home after the airport to an unkept room (it's been a busy summer...), a dusty floor, pictures peeling and falling off the wall due to heat and humidity, noticing sadly, that the state of my room felt like the state of my heart and soul right then.

Out of place. Tired. Weary. Spent. Lonely.

I have committed to teach another year. It seems daunting at times, a lot is expected, and though I have one year under my belt, it still feels like I have no idea what I am doing. But the Lord has a plan for this, for me, for this time of loneliness, for this time of learning about people, the world, and about me.

Here's to Lazarus and his lessons.

Lessons From Lazarus

That the Son of God may be glorified through it.

John 11:4 NKJV

Here are three more lessons from Lazarus:

1) God has a bigger and better plan in mind. Lazarus was four days dead when Jesus arrived. When the Lord waits, it's for two reasons: a) That He may be glorified. The Pharisees believed that your spirit left your corpse on the fourth day after you died. So if Jesus had intervened earlier they'd have said, 'He wasn't really dead.' Hence He told His disciples, "This sickness is… for the glory of God" (John 11:4 NKJV). It's in looking back that we clearly see God's hand at work b) That our faith may be strengthened. Jesus said, "I am glad for your sakes that I was not there, that you may believe" (John 11:15 NKJV). In life, crises come and go. Your next crisis will be different from your last one, but the thing that must remain strong is your faith.

2) God will ask you to remove the hindrances and deal with the stench. "Jesus said, 'Take away the stone.' Martha… said to Him, 'Lord, by this time there is a stench, for he has been dead four days'" (John 11:38-39 NKJV). Are you praying for an answer in one area, while God's telling you to take away the stone and deal with a 'stench' buried in another? Surrender, you can't win! When your heart's right with God your prayers will be answered.

3) God wants to make you a living testimony. Everywhere Lazarus went, without even speaking a word, his life declared that Jesus is Lord. And the same should be true of you. God has saved and raised you up to be a testimony to His grace and goodness.

Still Alive.

2009-08-29T16:39:00.002+08:00

I don't know if I've lost all of my followers/readers/occasional checker-upers here (let me know if you're all still around) BUT...

I am still alive, still in China and I am back!

I will try to keep my blog updated with my newly acquired internet ninja skills (if you get my drift...) and will be posting pictures here as well as here ---> click it!

I have just finished an amazing and busy 2 months of summer: 1 week vacation to Beijing (including a 4 hour hike on the Great Wall!!!), 40 hours a week for 8 weeks of English summer school, 1 trip to the beach, 1 Chinese BBQ, 1 day trip to Chaozhou, 1 trip to the oldest Church in my city, one burnt leg from a motorbike tailpipe, lots of heat, sweat, Chinese food, and exploring Shantou with one amazing and incredible man. This amazing man left for the US early this morning, leaving my heart and being feeling beaten, worn, and empty.

1 more year of teaching English, my choice, and I believe, His will.

School begins Tuesday.

Officially Done...

2009-06-26T10:51:00.002+08:00

Today is the last day of school.

wow.

I have officially taught a full school year term - officially, in China. No training, no experience, no degree or certificate. My head and heart are a fluster of thoughts, reflections, and emotions as I look back over the past 10 months: New experiences, sounds, sights, tastes, new relationships, some broken ones, deep discussions, miscommunications, tears, doubt, questions, frustrations, laughter, smiles, joy, my students, some new friends, China.

Alexi Murdoch seems to say it best right now:

Well I have been searching all of my days
All of my days
Many a road, you know
I’ve been walking on
All of my days
And I’ve been trying to find
What’s been in my mind
As the days keep turning into night

Well I have been quietly standing in the shade
All of my days
Watch the sky breaking on the promise that we made
All of this rain
And I’ve been trying to find
What’s been in my mind
As the days keep turning into night

Well many a night I found myself with no friends standing near
All of my days
I cried aloud
I shook my hands
What am I doing here?
All of these days
For I look around me
And my eyes confound me
And it’s just too bright
As the days keep turning into night

Now I see clearly
It’s you I’m looking for
All of my days
Soon I’ll smile
I know I’ll feel this loneliness no more
All of my days
For I look around me
And it seems He found me
And it’s coming into sight
As the days keep turning into night
As the days keep turning into night
And even breathing feels all right
Yes, even breathing feels all right
Now even breathing feels all right
It’s even breathing
Feels all right

I have such a long way to go in this life; in learning, growing, and changing to become more like my Saviour. Some days I feel like I've taken a million steps backwards, other days, leaps forward. But I did it. I have lived and taught here in China on my own for the last 10 months. It seems so short in retrospect...but every step counts. I only have done this with His ever faithful help. One day at a time.

He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Most gladly therefore I will rather glory in my weaknesses, that the power of Christ may rest on me," - 2 Corinthians 12:9

The Little Prince

2009-06-21T05:07:00.003+08:00

I just finished reading this lovely book: The Little Prince by Antoine De Saint-Exupery

It was another discovery amongst the mountain of donated books we have received at the school. It is an absolutely lovely story. Such simplicity, but such profundity as well. A worthy, thought-provoking fairy tale.

"A N D H E W E N T back to meet the fox.

"Goodbye," he said.

"Goodbye," said the fox. "And now here is my secret, a very simple secret: It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye."

"What is essential is invisible to the eye," the little prince repeated, so that he would be sure to remember.

"It is the time you have devoted to your rose that makes your rose so important."

"It is the time I have devoted to my rose--" said the little prince, so that he would be sure to remember.

"Men have forgotten this truth," said the fox. "But you must not forget it. You become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed. You are responsible for your rose..."

One Week Left...

2009-06-18T14:19:00.001+08:00

In one week I have officially taught a full school year term.

I cannot believe it.

Never would I have seen myself here, in a busy city, by myself, teaching, something I'm not confident in, and teaching English, a language I question my own proficiency in sometimes. ha. It's been a long 9-10 months. It's had it's share of mountain tops: new places, new faces, new experiences. But it's had more valleys. It's been a season of being alone, on my own; a true testing my faith and beliefs, my commitments, my character, my passions, and my loves. It has been growing pains like never before.

I'm tired. I'm ready to be done. But I'm ready to be done so I can start afresh. Does that make sense? I've seen my mistakes and my shortcomings and now want to tacking another year with, hopefully, more confidence, assurance, love, and joy for my job and these kids. I want to be a better teacher, a better example of His grace and love, and more confident in who He says I am.

I'm holding on the God who's holding on to me. It's the only way I can live each day - here, there, China, America, wherever.

"3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, 4 and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade. This inheritance is kept in heaven for you, 5 who through faith are shielded by God's power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. 6 In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. 7 These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. 89 for you are receiving the end result of your faith, the salvation of your souls. Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy,9for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls." - 1 Peter 1:3-9

Thoughts on a Rainy Sunday...

2009-06-15T03:52:00.001+08:00

I built another temple to a stranger
I gave away my heart to the rushing wind
I set my course to run right into danger
Sought the company of fools instead of friends

You know I've been unfaithful
Lovers in lines
While you're turning over tables with the rage of a jealous kind
I chose the gallows to the aisle
Thought that love would never find
Hanging ropes will never keep you
And your love of a jealous kind
Love of a jealous kind

Trying to jump away from rock that keeps on spreading
For solace in the shift of the sinking sand
I'd rather feel the pain all too familiar
Than to be broken by a lover I don't understand
'Cause I don't understand

One hundred other lovers, more, one hundred other altars
If I should slow my pace and finally subject me to grace
And love that shames the wise, betrays the heart's deceit and lies
And breaks the back of foolish pride

"Jealous Kind" - Jars of Clay

Still very much alive. Still very much being broken. Still very much learning to trust. Still very much learning to love...and to be loved in return.

There are 2 weeks left of school. I can hardly believe that I have taught a FULL school year term. Never in my dreams would I have seen myself doing this, not the teaching part. Which is probably why, as a loved one told me, exactly why I am here.

"You, O Lord, keep my lamp burning; my God turns my darkness into light. With your help I can advance against a troop; with my God I can scale a wall." - Psalm 18:28-29

Okay... Pressing On!

2009-06-10T00:22:00.004+08:00

Thanks for all the comments from my faithful, random, and accidental readers of my blog. Due to them, I was encouraged and the blog will continue (thanks Evan!). So please keep reading! :)

In the meantime, something new for your viewing pleasure: www.jennifergerberding.aminus3.com ---> It's a 1 image/day blog site. It forces me to be more selective about the images I post, more intentional about my shooting, and hopefully, a better photographer. Be sure to stop by for a visit! I'd love your feedback!

2009-05-27T07:03:00.001+08:00

Well, my blog has been officially banned on China's internet - all of blogspot.com has been actually. China supposedly has an "internet police" that monitors what happens over cyberspace. Anything that could be construed as suspicious or might lead to any underground uprising or rebellious activity is usually banned. Facebook might be next. So much for the supposedly "free," "progressive," and "open" country. Due to this, I am unable to access my site anymore, BUT, there is hope! Evan has volunteered to keep it running.

This is where you all come in:

I want to know, how many people actually check my blog. Honest? I want to know if it's worth the effort of having Evan maintain it for me. SO if you read faithfully, hanging on my every word (ha, right), randomly, or once in a while, and if it's a method of keeping up with me while I'm living abroad that you value, let me know via a post. Thanks friends!

Until then...

China is still big.
My job is still fun.
The kids are still crazy.
Opportunities are still opening.
And HE is still faithful, giving me just enough to get through each day.

Ecological Park.

2009-05-05T19:46:00.016+08:00

A few weeks back, several teachers took an excursion to a nearby "ecological park" - I think it was called the "Green River Park" or something like that...

Headmaster, me, 3rd grade teacher/vice principal, 5th grade teacher, one of the girls that cleans the school, and Anita - the Chinese English teacher

The whole group minus me (the photographer):
Our cook, his grandson (my 2nd grader), PE teacher, Headmaster, Jimmy, the girls, and the 3rd grade teacher/vice principals daughter

Headmaster and her husband

"grass-skiing" yes.

the little poser :)

Chinese Farris Wheel! That moved about 2 mph. ha.

food! and tea of course...

oh yes, I know that variety...

We visited the farm behind the park that provides food for the restaurant -
or that's what I think I understood...

I LOVE waterlilies!

Yay for small, outdoor adventures around China!

A sigh.

2009-04-26T15:56:00.004+08:00

She sighed deeply that quiet afternoon, deep in thought.

Unexpected words of love and encouragement from across the seas had come, a breath of fresh air to her weary heart.

"Thank you," she whispered.
She is not forgotten. She is very much loved.

Time will soon pass and each day will bring it's own beauty, opportunities, and lessons. The key is to live each day with that perspective; to see what she has, not what she does not.

"I can do this," she told herself resolutely.
"Of course you can," came that strong, familiar, knowing voice from above,"I would not have brought you here if you could not."

She sighed again, a sigh of humbled trust and surrender,
of peace and momentary rest, of proper perspective,
and continued on her journey.

Loveliness.

2009-04-24T17:49:00.003+08:00

Some loveliness I discovered in my apartment the other day amidst the setting sun:

a little clover peeking out from my plant :)

Updates!

2009-04-23T11:37:00.003+08:00

Some updates:

1. I got my computer back! Woo! And my oh my is it beautiful, big, fast, and AMAZing.

2. Pictures are coming soon! I'm still saving my hard drive...but they are coming!

3. My amazing boyfriend, Evan, comes in 9 weeks. Um, am I excited? YES.

4. New foods to add to my "Never Eaten Before China (nor would I, probably)" list:

- goose stomach
- pig neck

China is still big.
Home is still far away and not here (both physically and spiritually).
HE is still sovereign, good, faithful, merciful, patient, and loving.
I am not alone.

I am still alive, still learning, still living, and ever loving.
One day at a time.

Choosing joy.

2009-04-09T14:49:00.008+08:00

"In acceptance there is peace."
- Mountain Rain: Biography of James Fraser,
worker in China in the early 1900s

I have been consciouly choosing to put on joy this past week...and it had indeed, made all the difference.

The other morning, on my lone walk to school, I chose to put on joy as I left my 4th story apartment and headed down the street to school. I love my morning walks, usually by myself these days. Today, the sun was desperately trying to shine from amongst the April gloom of the soon approaching rainy season, and I was open to a new day, looking, listening, smelling, and eagerly watching the mysterious world around me that is China.

I walked through the alley type road that runs between the two towering churches behind my home and the police station. I passed the bustling bread sellers cart's, crowded with bicycles and scooters. Steam from fresh steamed bread rose from the large, round, dark woven baskets in which they are cooked rising into the air. I crossed the busy 2 way street, ever loving the "dodge the cars/moving objects" game that is walking Chinese roads, to the horribly cemented sidewalk across the street. I walked carefully, dodging pieces of broken granite, tile, trash, food, etc. I passed motorbike drivers who curiously look me up and down, grandparents with their little ones hand in hand, store owners opening their shop fronts for the day. I cross another street and passed half built buildings supported by bamboo, piles of brick and dirt high in the road, bikes, scooters, motorbikes rickshaws, and walkers all hurridly on their way to work.

I see the old man with the big fur cap sorting through recycling in his little tin shack, lined with bags of bottles. I see the old pool table just barely standing, years of wear and tear, sitting alongside the busy road. I see the newly built tiled buildings, standing next to the tin and wood shacks. I see the tree with a "band-aid" as I call it, the leaves chopped awkardly off and the stump then coverd with a plastic bag. I see mangy dogs nervously digging through piles of trash. I pass the local idol temple, incense already burning. I dodge more trash, dirty puddles, rocks and debris, all while barely escaping impact from oncoming traffic. I pass the little farm, right in the middle of it all, a splash of green life amidst the gray of the dirty city. The haze of the early morning air still clings tightly to the world below. Little restaurants have begun to chop and fry various breakfasts. I see the woman squatting beside the road vigorously washing her laundry on the cement. I see the lady on the bike, with the unforgetable shrill voice, peddling her wares loudly to the small shacks as she passes. I finally pass the ancient crumbling homes, the hill of trash and dirt, still somehow bringing forth life in small purple flowers, a half built wall, and arrive at Rong Chang Hope School. My world here in China is full of so many textures, colors, shapes, smells, sounds, light, and life. It's so much to take in everyday. It's truly beauty in brokenness.

I am choosing joy these days. I am choosing to see the world that is around me for all it is worth. I am choosing to see people, wonder about their hearts, and smile as I pass. Though I may forever feel filty after my walk to school (ah the joy of arriving at our neatly kept warehouse of a school!), I relish my morning walks, of being here, of being present, of being alive and a part of life in Shantou. I take pictures with my eyes daily, as I cannot with my camera, not safely by myself. There are so many beautiful things I have seen. How I wish I could share them.

Here's to another year in China, choosing joy, choosing freedom, and choosing to truly live.

Yes, I have decided.

SIDE NOTE** I should have my computer back this week! woo!

Proof!

2009-04-03T17:08:00.007+08:00

That I do have friends here in China. Or at least, I am finally truly making some:

Anita - my translator from when I shared my testimony a few weeks ago.
She's super tiny, super sweet, and has great English - she's the door into this culture I've been hoping for!

Myself, Anita, a few friends, and her father ---> to my left in yellow.
He's a master ping pong instructor!!!
Heck yes!

He is quite the old man: He has traveled ALL over the world, though he just speaks Chinese (my home town of San Diego, included! I've seen the photos!) and owns his own little school/gym/studio thing on the 4th floor of a back alley building where he teaches kids and adults ping pong. If you know ping pong in Shantou, you know this man. I have gone to play...er, try to play...for the past 2 weeks.

My current Friday night dates: Ping Pong with a 65 year old man.
Yes.

A Must Read.

2009-04-01T21:04:00.004+08:00

I haven't read a book in a while that I couldn't put down, but this novel, was one like that. It's a fictional story based on research and real life accounts. Impacting. Powerful. And not just because I'm currently living in China.

1. Go buy this book: Safely Home by Randy Alcorn

2. Read it.
3. You will be challenged, you will be inspired, you will catch a glimpse, of eternity.

You won't regret it.

Oddities.

2009-03-29T09:10:00.000+08:00

Some oddities in China that I am (mostly) coming to love...

1. No toilet paper in bathrooms - hence everyone carries their own little packs of tissue wherever they go

2. When eating out: at least one dish is cracked or chipped - whether bowl, plate, tea cup, or spoon

3. When eating out: 1st washing your cup, dish, bowl, and chopsticks with the first teapot of boiling hot water before eating

4. Pay-as-you-go cell phones - which tell you the balance in random text messages. Too bad they're in Chinese...

5. Finding feet, heads, and always bones in at least some part of my food

6. Tea, tea, TeA, and more TEA!!!

7. Being told I'm "strong" by men, who then look at their women and tell them to eat more so they are strong too.

8. Walking the streets and dodging dirty puddles, trash piles, overhanging laundry, etc.

9. Laundry, in general, drying on almost ever outdoor object imaginable: electrical lines, electrical towers - in the middle of the street, street lights, trees, etc.

10. Being asked how tall I am - in centimeters.

11. NO paper towels anywhere, they don't exist - hence wet hands after using the restroom and cleaning one's kitchen with tissue

12. When you order at a restaurant, whatever dish is done being prepared first is the one that comes to your table, so if dessert is prepared first, you eat dessert first. The food just keeps coming!

13. Hawking, picking, belching, burping, slurping, scratching, etc. always happens. yep.

14. Using simplified, SO grammatically incorrect statements in order to have a conversation with semi-English speakers.

Ah, China. :)

I love technology...

2009-03-26T13:13:00.000+08:00

So my blogging came to a halt this past month.

My new computer, the one I raved about in a previous post, got a CD jammed in the drive (don't ask me how, all I did was insert it...) and I've been without it for the past 3 weeks. It's been held hostage in a Apple repair center in Hong Kong. With no way to mail it to me (you can't mail electronics into the country), and I can't go back until next month, so...

March = computer-less.

1st, my hard drive crashed
2nd, my computer CD drive crashed
I love technology. woo!

I've been reading, watching episodes of the Amazing Race off a thumb drive, journaling, more reading, Tae Bo-ing, listening, watching, thinking, learning, waiting, trusting.

I'll try to post soon.

Abide.

2009-03-05T17:01:00.000+08:00

I came home in a small rainy thunder and lightning storm this afternoon, my last class canceled. I love living in a country where work can get canceled due to weather.

I promptly opened my cheaply constructed windows and just listened...

rain.

The word "abide" has been on my hand all this past week as a small, black, thinly written, reminder of truth.

Abide with me; fast falls the eventide;
The darkness deepens; Lord with me abide.
When other helpers fail and comforts flee,
Help of the helpless, O abide with me.

Swift to its close ebbs out life’s little day;
Earth’s joys grow dim; its glories pass away;
Change and decay in all around I see;
O Thou who changest not, abide with me.

Not a brief glance I beg, a passing word;
But as Thou dwell’st with Thy disciples, Lord,
Familiar, condescending, patient, free.
Come not to sojourn, but abide with me.

Come not in terrors, as the King of kings,
But kind and good, with healing in Thy wings,
Tears for all woes, a heart for every plea—
Come, Friend of sinners, and thus bide with me.

Thou on my head in early youth didst smile;
And, though rebellious and perverse meanwhile,
Thou hast not left me, oft as I left Thee,
On to the close, O Lord, abide with me.

I need Thy presence every passing hour.
What but Thy grace can foil the tempter’s power?
Who, like Thyself, my guide and stay can be?
Through cloud and sunshine, Lord, abide with me.

I fear no foe, with Thee at hand to bless;
Ills have no weight, and tears no bitterness.
Where is death’s sting? Where, grave, thy victory?
I triumph still, if Thou abide with me.

Hold Thou Thy cross before my closing eyes;
Shine through the gloom and point me to the skies.
Heaven’s morning breaks, and earth’s vain shadows flee;
In life, in death, O Lord, abide with me.

Decisions. Trust. Leaps of faith. Abide with me, O please, abide with me.

Sacred Heart Cathedral.

2009-03-02T16:48:00.000+08:00

After traversing what seemed like the entire population of China, crammed dirty alleys, relentless vendors, trucks, cars, bikes, shops, noise, smoke, and blaring music, a diamond was found amongst the rough chaos of Guangzhou...

Yes, ladies and gentlemen...
a solid granite Catholic church in China, built over 100 years ago,
completed in 1888 to be exact.

Witness the beauty:

these colors were REAL, bouncing off every wall in the morning light

Holy water and Chinese hymnals

It was breathtaking.

It was quiet, except for a drummer practicing in the corner, causing an eerie sound to resonate throughout the old stone structure.

It was...holy.

It was stepping out of China, just for a moment, into a world of faith so hidden and confusing in this massive land. My heart had been aching for it, and found it, for those few minutes entertained beneath it's massive stained glass windows and aging arches.

If you ever go to Guangzhou, I highly recommend the trek to find this jewel. Though your heart and soul may be exhausted on the search walking through filth, poverty, and noise, it can rest, for just a moment...here.

wow.

Guangzhou, Guangdong captitol.

2009-02-27T19:34:00.000+08:00

Before I left for the US for Chinese New Year, I had a week of vacation time. Traveling is very expensive in China during that time, so Jimmy and I decided head to Guangzhou, the capitol city of Guangdong, our province. It's a very big, bustling, busy, progressive city, yet very old and full of history.

This was the street our hostel was located on.
rad, huh?

lanterns!

Crossing the river to another part of the city, by ferry, at night.

a famous shopping street...

A man dressed as a Chicken, playing some sort of instrument,
that yes, even sounded like a chicken.

My little taste of Guangzhou.

I hope to go back because there is still MUCH to see there (including a contemporary museum of art!!!)

Next time!

Thinking...

2009-02-25T17:09:00.000+08:00

"If a man is called to be a street sweeper, he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted, or Beethoven composed music, or Shakespeare composed poetry. He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts of heaven and earth will pause to say, Here lived a great street sweeper, who did his job well. "

- Dr. Martin Luther King

Thinking about my life.

Thinking about my gifts, my dreams, my passions, my "call."

Wondering what is missing.

Wondering where I truly belong.

Longing for home... I think, my true home.

Come.

2009-02-25T15:14:00.000+08:00

Come all who are weary
Battle worn and weak
Come all of us broken, tired and in need
I for one am weary loney and afraid
So let us run for shelter
In the Saviour's warm embrace

Come one and all
Let us fall into the
Everlasting Arms
I'm running into the everlasting arms
I'm falling into eternity's embrace
Where I'm safe
Here my heart has found it's resting place

Here we find our healing
Here we find our peace
Wrapped in you unfailing love
Surrounded by your peace
So I for one am letting
All my walls fall down
In this place of safety
This child is finally found
So come one and all

And I am finally home
No longer alone
You surround me
All around me
With your love

Here in your everlasting arms
I'm running into your
Everlasting arms
I'm falling into
Eternity's embrace
Where I'm safe
Here my heart has found it's resting place
Here my heart is found it's resting place

- Vicky Beeching "Everylasting Arms"

Oh, the joys of teaching...

2009-02-21T15:14:00.001+08:00

I have 22 classes a week this semester, including Saturdays, which has left me officially beat. I know, I'm teaching nothing compared to most full time teachers, but hey, I DO have at least 40 kids per class.

Amongst the joy of being covered in chalk, planning lessons, and trying to successfully communicate my mother language (ha), I get to browse the internet and stumble across little things like this:

A poem.

Oh, how I laughed!

Also, I'm rediscovering my love for books. I have always enjoyed reading, though I've never been an avid reader. But in going through our donated books and organizing them onto our new book shelves, I have so enjoyed reading through a lot of them. I found an unabridged copy of "Peter Pan" and stole it. I just started reading it. :)

Oh, the joys of teaching...

Henry Pool Is Here.

2009-02-18T19:38:00.000+08:00

I watched a really interesting movie tonight called "Henry Poole Is Here." It's a bit arsty, a bit psycological, a bit emotional, a bit spiritual. I'm really not sure what to make of it...

Heretical?
Truthful?
Overdone?
Thought provoking?

Check it out:

I recommend seeing it.

...

Thoughts?

Random odds & ends.

2009-02-12T17:16:00.000+08:00

I'm feeling a bit random and emotive as I am now back in China, my head swiming in elementary English teaching, dusting cobwebs from the Chinese knowledge closet, and readjusting to China time (16 hours ahead of San Diego). So here I ramble with some thoughts:

1. Comfort Foods...

My comfort foods here in China consist of nothing of nutritional value.
Sorry, Mom.

Ritz crackers and fake peanut butter from the imported section
at the supermarket. yes.

I brought these back from the States.
I forgot how good (or should I say bad?) they are. Mmm.

chocolate. Dove. because Hershey's doesn't exist in China.

2. My new baby...

This is my new baby, the new Macbook Pro. And she is, indeed, beautiful and wonderful and FAST. RIP 5-year-old Powerbook.

3. Music Goodness...

I know I'm late on the boat, but I think the new Coldplay cd is quite good.

This series of cds is also rather great, Jon Foreman's Album Project,
and the album cover drawings are rather earthy and quirky as well.

fall.

winter.

spring.

summer.

3. My vacation...

back to the States to see family and friends was absolutely beautiful.

4. My life right now...

is pretty much summed up in these words:

Amen. Let it be done.

Your love is strong.

2009-02-12T11:47:00.000+08:00

Heavenly Father
You always amaze me
Let your kingdom come
In my world and in my life
You give me the food I need
To live through the day
And forgive me as I forgive
The people that wronged me
Lead me far from temptation
Deliver me from the evil one

I look out the window
The birds are composing
Not a note is out of tune
Or out of place
I look at the meadow
And stare at the flowers
Better dressed than any girl
On her wedding day

So why do I worry?
Why do I freak out?
God knows what I need
You know what I need

Your love is
Your love is
Your love is strong

The kingdom of the heavens
Is now advancing
Invade my heart
Invade this broken town
The kingdom of the heavens
Is buried treasure
Will you sell yourself
To buy the one you've found?

Two things you told me
That you are strong
And you love me
Yes, you love me

Our God in heaven
Hallowed be
Thy name above all names
Your kingdom come
Your will be done
On earth as it is in heaven
Give us today our daily bread
Forgive us wicked sinners
Lead us far away from our vices
And deliver us from these prisons

- Jon Foreman
"Your Love Is Strong"

I'm back in China after a beautiful vacation in the US. But after spending time there for a few weeks, I daily fear more and more for my home country. I fear for the hearts of man, for this world.

At the end of the day however, I must rest in His promises, in all things:

Your love is strong, and You are in control.
Your will be done.

Christmas Program!

2009-01-07T18:57:00.000+08:00

Some images from our AMAZing Christmas program at Rong Chang Hope School!

The kids were fabulous, the costumes were all handmade by our Headmaster and teachers, and the evening was so incredible:

getting ready...

some of my beautiful 3rd graders

the Headmaster - isn't she absolutely regal?

preschool girls' dance

Kung Fu - 4th grade

Donna and Johnny, our MCs, using their English with Jenny,
the music teacher and my Chinese teacher

1st and 2nd graders

"Santa" came to visit bringing presents for the kids

2nd grade boys

Girls' dance 1st-5th grade

3rd grade

our cook played the Chinese violin

5th grade played the recorder

on of my little 2nd graders singing a solo

4th grade girls

Now tell me, do I have the raddest job, or what?

Happy Chinese New Year!

Aaand a few more...

2009-01-04T21:08:00.000+08:00

I thought I'd add to list of new/strange things I've eaten in China:

cow lung
blood sausage (or a nasty semblance of it)
cow stomach
authentic Kung Pao chicken - quite different from your local Panda Express

and the latest...
guess what I had for dessert??

Chinese frog fallopian tube (yes, the female reproductive organ) soup!

Yummy <--- (click to find out more!)

Heh.

2009-01-03T16:35:00.001+08:00

Anyone want to come visit??

Goodbye 2008, hello 2009.

2009-01-01T17:36:00.000+08:00

I welcomed 2009 last night with a buffet dinner of Western food with a few friends, a foot and back massage, and by watching the fireworks in Hong Kong with my parents over Skype. It's amazing how I can watch fireworks in Hong Kong while in China over my TV, and my parents, 16 hours behind, can watch the same thing in America through my computer, but in my time. Crazy technology!

2008 is gone. What a year it has been.

This past year brought a lot. I'm pensive and rather contemplative lately, so I'll recap, for my sake...with poor quality photos. ha.

I said goodbye to my Grandma Marla in Kansas as she went home to be with the Lord. Her cold and snowy funeral was filled with old friends, distant family, and big, weathered farmers' handshakes gently giving condolences.

And like always, my family turned it into a road trip: 3 days, several thousand miles, and A LOT of snow.

I started dating an incredible man.

He makes me laugh, makes me think, and helps me dream.
He is my boyfriend, my brother and daily becoming more of my best friend.

I went to Baja as a TA and once again fell in love with that enchanting and indescribable landscape, wildlife, and culture.

And of course I shot a TON of pictures.

I created a Senior Thesis show at Biola, built 15 frames, editied hundreds of photos, and enlarged three gorgeous Indian women's portraits...and survived!

Show partners: Elly, Erin, me.

I made a new family, or was truly welcomed into one: the Conrads - who helped make my show such a success.

I graduated from Biola! Yay Class of 2008!

art buddies!

Lifelong friends came to celebrate. They truly are family.

I worked at Indian Hills Camp for the 7th summer
as a Dean, assistant photographer, and big camper as always.

The Dean Team - never a dull moment :)

I went to NICARAGUA to serve with my dear brother Emerson.

I fell in love with a small town called San Ramon,
played with kids, took bucket showers, sweated profusely, and ate my fill of beans and rice all while serving with the most an amazing team - ever!

I kept up with my incredible small group, my girls,
even though life and adulthood is taking us all different directions.
These girls are priceless.

And then I went to China.

And began teaching at Rong Chang Hope School.

I have met many wonderful people:
Sally, me, and Jimmy with gelato in Hong Kong.

Me, Tony, and Jimmy at the beach.

And my life daily continues to be a stretching and growing adventure.

I miss home. I miss community. I miss being known and understood by people that genuinely know and love me. I miss having someone I can talk to at the end of the day. But this is where I have been placed for 2008 -2009, and despite the occasional downs, I am enjoying it. My kids are beautiful, the school is wonderful, Shantou is busy and dirty, and I am growing up. There's always growing pains, right?

Here's to 2009. It's You and me here, truly.

Ancient places and sacred spaces.

2008-12-29T17:57:00.000+08:00

I have been thinking about ancient places and sacred spaces lately.

How I wish I had imagery for my thoughts right now, but my hard drive is currently undergoing severe life-saving surgery by the IT dept. at Lafayette in attempts to salvage my LIFE that is locked within it's tiny, black, plastic catacombs.

It was a gray, cool, and windy day today. The kids were mellow, people were quiet, and I am much in thought. I wandered down the street from my house to the huge Holy Family Catholic Church that opened recently. It looks so bright, white, and modern in the shabby and dirty neighborhood in which it is nestled. I was stopped by an old man at the gate and questioned in Chinese. He asked if I was French and was surprised to find out that I was an American teaching English at a primary school. Yes, I understood, but don't be too surprised, it was like 4 sentences. ;)

The church, though big, white, and clean, seemed cold and hollow. I wanted to wander inside wishing to find huge arching stained glass windows, old wooden pews, and the smell of 100 year old religion in practice, but it was closed, he was locking the gate, and my venture into this Chinese Catholic church will have to wait until another day.

There is something inexpressibly wonderful and holy to me about wandering into an ancient church and sitting down quietly in the dust of hundreds of years of prayers, songs, and liturgy. I have been thinking a lot about my 2 trips down to Baja, California, as this year's class is soon to leave. How that place captured my heart, my head, my eye, and my imagination.

I am in need of an ancient place and sacred space right now, a place of age, stories, memories, but find myself wandering between new buildings, industralization, and shacks. I find China, at least the part I am living in, is filled with quick construction, cheap materials, white paint, and money making, all sandwiched between lives with no hope of going upward or outward. The city wears on me. I am thankful to be nestled between several plant nurseries on the edge of town, but the roar of the traffic and the continous sounds of construction and progress cannot be escaped, not even in a huge Catholic church. They are not bad, but my heart and soul longs for the quiet right now.

Maybe someday I'll get to visit those parts of China, where ancient tradition, stories, and it's shaping past are still visibly evident to the observer. Is it strange that at times I want to trade my new and modern apartment, for a small hut in a farm community somewhere in the mountains? But Shantou is my place and space now and in it I must search for my ancient and sacred. It's proving to be hard in this city of 4 million...

Baja, I will miss you this January.

It's a wonderful life.

2008-12-28T09:14:00.000+08:00

The bells are tolling from the church behind my apartment this cold, gray, Sunday morning in China. I love the sound of bells - deep, steady, and strong. Christmas has come and past, but the meaning of this holiday and the questions and thoughts it has evoked as I am here alone, continue.

I watched Frank Capra's "It's A Wonderful Life" yesterday. I have seen this movie dozens of times, but once again was struck and filled with tears at the grace and love this story portrays, the truth that life is a gift, that our lives touch others, and I as a a believer, am never without hope.

As I watched the story of George Bailey, a dreamer and adventurer, choose to give up his dreams to save his family's business, I thought about sacrifice and love. Many times in life we are asked to make sacrifices, selfless sacrifices, that seem unfair and take character. As I watched, I thought about HIS sacrifice for all of us - He didn't have to do it, we certainly didn't deserve it, but he chose it out of immense love. George loved his father and believed in his business in a city potentially on it's knees before Mr. Potter, a rich, old, miser, that he chose to carry the flag and continue to give hope to the less fortunate.

As I watched the movie take it's classic turn, Uncle Billy misplacing $8000, George taking the blame for it desperately before Potter, suddenly questioning his life, his worth, his significance, I saw that universal struggle among human beings. Regardless of the situation: financial, relational, or physical, those doubtful questions have come up in almost everyone's life. But the hope in this story, the timeless beauty, is his encounter with Clarence the wingless angel, and the chance to see what life, the lives of others, would have been like without him.

People make mistakes. In his fear, George angrily yelled at his family, friends, others, destroyed part of his house, and ran off into the night. As prayers were lifted upward for a struggling husband, father, and friend, the love of others pours in. The ending of this movie gets me every time. George seeing what a wonderful life he truly had, rushes home to see his loved ones, now joyfully accepting his supposed fate of imprisonment. But his wife, Mary, in her immense love and faithfulness had a surprise and reminder: George is deeply loved and will not be abandoned when in need. Friends, family, the whole town pours into that drafty house dropping money, savings, penny banks, anything they had in order to save the life of their friend, their friend who deeply touched their lives in more ways than he realized. What a beautiful story of love, grace, forgiveness, and a second chance to see just how wonderful life is.

As the bells toll outside my window this morning, I think about my life, the struggles I have had here, the questions, doubts, fears, and insecurities that have bubbled to the surface of my heart and soul. I am reminded about a lot from this 1946 black and white film: about grace, love, forgiveness, and the faithfulness and support of true friends. And that life is a precious gift to use for His glory to touch lives and be touched by others.

New Years is just around the corner and the shaping of my heart and life deeply continues.

It truly is a wonderful life.

Be still.

2008-12-26T21:23:00.000+08:00

Be still, my soul; the Lord is on thy side;
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain;
Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In every change He faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul; thy best, thy heavenly, Friend
Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.

Be still, my soul; thy God doth undertake
To guide the future as He has the past.
Thy hope, thy confidence, let nothing shake;
All now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be still, my soul; the waves and winds still know
His voice who ruled them while He dwelt below.

Be still, my soul, though dearest friends depart
And all is darkened in the vale of tears;
Then shalt thou better know His love, His heart,
Who comes to soothe thy sorrows and thy fears.
Be still, my soul; thy Jesus can repay
From His own fullness all He takes away.

Be still, my soul; the hour is hastening on
When we shall be forever with the Lord,
When disappointment, grief, and fear are gone,
Sorrow forgot, love's purest joys restored.
Be still, my soul; when change and tears are past,
All safe and blessed we shall meet at last.

At Peace: Christmas Musings...

2008-12-21T18:52:00.000+08:00

Christmas is only 4 days away.

It seems like just yesterday I got on that plane in San Diego. As I sit listening to Chinese Christmas music, the weather about 68 degrees outside with a clear evening sky, I cannot help but dream of a white Christmas. But tropical trees and a classic movie will have to suffice this year, as I spend my fist Christmas away from home, my first Christmas in China.

As this holiday has approached, I have more than ever before met with the reminder that Christmas is not about Santa Claus, Christmas trees, sleigh rides, or presents. Maybe that is because it's hardly celebrated in China, or because the few stores here with decorations have everything BUT a manger scene. Or perhaps it is because I am away from home for the holidays. Or maybe in living here, amongst this culture, I have started to see just how much they are truly missing this Christmas, especially as I get to know them better. My roommate said her parents wouldn't even know what day Christmas was if someone didn't tell them. As I plan my lessons for school leading up to Christmas, the kids making cards to send to Lafayette in New York and other donors, I cannot help but be saddened that my teaching of this holiday is limited. New words like Santa Claus, Christmas tree, card, and presents are asked of me daily, but I want so much more to tell of the birth of a King. A King who came for each and everyone of their beautiful faces 2,000 years ago with a free gift. I am humbled, sobered, and reminded this Christmas that while lights are pretty, presents are fun, and Christmas trees sure make a lonely home cozy (I love mine!), the birth that happened that night is the reason I am in China, the reason I have hope, and the reason that I live.

In my musings about this season, I have been given tremendous peace; that unexplainable, inner peace that only comes from Above. It began a few weeks ago. First, something slightly magical began to happen at school – just barely noticeable, easily overlooked. A few kids who usually don't pay attention, don't seem to care, don't try, started raising their hands, answering questions, and trying. Kids who never came into my office nor said much of a hello outside of class, started to peek in curiously, and grab my hands playfully between classes. There is one little boy who comes in before his class to help me carry my stuff. What change has happened? Is it Christmas? Is it coincidental? Is it them finally accepting me? I don't know, but it has begun my Christmas season with a bang.

Secondly, I was visited by angels this past week in the form of a mysterious box from America. I assumed it was from my parents or boyfriend, a surprise Christmas gift they didn't tell me about. But I opened it to find a dozen beautiful wrapped, bowed and ribboned goodies and surprises sent with love from my small group at the church I attended my last semester of college. I was speechless, shocked, and blown away. This group of about 15 people of all ages and walks of life, many of which do not know me too well, decided to put together a surprise package for me filled with love, encouragement, and support. I have never received so unexpected of a gift nor felt so loved by brothers and sisters. I now have presents under my tree filled with promises from the Boss that He provides, He listens, He cares, and that I truly am never alone. Thank you, Grace family, for blessing me beyond words and truly showing me what the Body looks like. I cannot thank you enough and praise and thank the Father for you all!

I am happy here in China. The peace that has descended these past few weeks is something I have been praying for (and perhaps all you have been too - thank you!) I am determined to make this a magical and memorable Christmas. Though we have school on Christmas day, we have Friday through Sunday off. We also have the school's Christmas program the night of the 25th where the kids will dance, sing, and share what they are learning with their families. I cannot wait! The have been practicing for the past month. Jimmy and I are going to cook a holiday meal Friday night and invite several people over to join us. While they might have to bring their own plate (what can I say? we live simply...), the meat might be chicken again (or even Mexican!), it will be a time of fellowship and bringing people together, from all walks of life here in China. I am determined to love someone that day and share with them the love of my Best Friend, however I can. If that means sitting on the floor, borrowing plates, mock turkey, and people who barely speak English, I will take it. I will take it all because this is where I have been placed, and these are the people I have been called to love, right now.

Wishing you all a Merry and Blessed Christmas with your families and loved ones. We, your brothers and sisters around the globe, are thinking of you here across the seas. May the true Reason for the Season be close to your heart now and always.

I am at peace. Truly.

At home in my room.

2008-12-11T17:28:00.002+08:00

I love coming home to my room:

1. Because it is my space
2. Because it is cozy and familiar and filled with little things reminding me of people, places, and things that I love...

Note the awful, gaudy, impressionistic painting that hangs above my bed.
It's a print on canvas with a few brushstrokes on top.
hilarious.

And I like it a bit more right now because of my Christmas tree!!!
(of which I am a tad bit proud and extremely pleased with)

It even has a popcorn chain that I made! I haven't done it since I was a kid...

Popcorn chains are much more tedious and time consuming than I remembered. My boyfriend reminded me: "That's because when you're a kid, you string about 10 pieces, and then your mom does the rest." ha. true.

I also have one of my family's plastic Christmas wreathes from the 50s that has been around forever. My mom mailed it to me and it now decorates my window, along with a little bit of plastic fall. ha.

I do what I can...

Here's to Christmas in China!
It's going to be interesting...to say the least.

Sheng dan kuai le!

Because.

2008-12-05T20:34:00.000+08:00

Because Shantou sunrises are breathtaking...

Quiet, still, soft.

That moment just before the noise, traffic,
and hustle bustle craziness of the day begins.

One of my favorite things to do every morning is roll up my awful pink flower printed curtains to reveal the sleepy street below me. One or two elderly people might be out walking, a bike cart might pass with it's driver slowly peddling the heavy contents for the days vending, the security guard booth is still closed up tight, the world letting out it's first yawn of a new day.

And I, a redheaded dreamer, American, full of questions, wanting to touch, learn, and love this world, get to greet my morning, my Maker, and my home.

Here's to another day.

Chinese medicine, dumplings, and McDonalds.

2008-12-02T19:49:00.001+08:00

The past month has afforded me a few adventures and random happenings here in Shantou and though I have no deep and profound thoughts to attach to them, I do have poor quality photos. ha. So for your enjoyment...

Working with kids, the changing weather, and oh, I don't know, a complete life change, have left me with a poor immune system and thus a few colds. With them came an array of unknown Chinese medicines. I documented these little herbal mysteries:

This one looked like small syringe vials and came with mini straws to drink the thick, brown liquid with. It tasted like the raw syrup one might use to make Coke - with a bitter aftertaste. yum.

This tea was to help with my cough and the box looked like it said "666".
uh oh...

But then I figured out it was "999". whew.

We made dumplings with the Headmaster and a few other people from the school. This girl helps cook and clean the school. She's super sweet.

Dumpling goodness.

I went to a Chinese McDonalds.
I hate it in America...don't know what made me think it would be different here. But they did have chocolate milkshakes...sort of.

Ronald is indeed a world traveler. Clotting arteries, one country at a time!

That's all for now.
Zaijian!

Thanksgiving in China.

2008-12-01T16:48:00.000+08:00

It actually happened. I actually had a successful Thanksgiving dinner in China, one that I cooked, from scratch...well, mostly.

Yes, the meat was chicken (there's no turkey in this country), the potatoes were a bit sweet (due to a cream we tried to add to make them creamier), the gravy was a tad lumpy, the sweet potatoes were too sweet, and the imported apple soda was disgusting (buy hey, it looked interesting), but over all I had a successful and rather tasty Thanksgiving in China.

After school this past Thursday, Jimmy and I headed back to his apartment to attempt to prepare a traditional American meal. After about 2 ½ hours of cooking, a messy kitchen, and a bunch of "made up" inventions using what ingredients we could find here, we sat down to a full table of chicken, mashed potatoes, gravy, stuffing (mailed from the US by my dear parents), green beans with carmelized onions and toasted almonds (yum!), bread, jam, sweet potatoes, apple soda, and homemade chocolate chip cookies for dessert. Though not as perfect as home and mom would have made it, it was quite delicious and we were able to share it with Timothy, Jimmy's roommate, and Tina and June, 2 young designers from the Company.

carmelizing onions...

attempts at sweet potatoes

mashed potatoes!

carving the chicken. yes.

On a scale of 1 to 10 we had our guests rate our cooking and the meal overall, and the lowest we got was a 7 (on the sweet potatoes - no surprise, but I insisted on having them. It's tradition!) Jimmy and I high-fived and with big grins and happily watched them devour with hungry tummies EVERYTHING we had made. This was the first Thanksgiving I haven't had leftovers. Of course, this is my first Thanksgiving away from home, and in China, so I guess it's a season of many firsts.

TADA! our Thanksgiving feast!

Jimmy, Tina, Timothy, me, and June

We finished the evening by decorating Jimmy and Timothy's little Christmas tree, an activity neither of the girls had ever done in their lives, and after finishing off the cookie dough baked in Jimmy's mini toaster oven, we said our goodbyes. Overall it was a wonderful evening, far better time that either of us expected.

I am missing home, especially during the holidays, but I am determined to make my holidays here the best I can. I am decorating my little tree this evening and will enjoy it to its plastic fullness (or lack thereof. Ha). The true Reason for the Season is close to my heart as I am away from what I know, but He is just as present, just as close, and just as significant. No geographic location can change that.

Happy belated Thanksgiving from China, the land of no turkey!

Something Heavenly.

2008-11-25T21:42:00.000+08:00

It's time for healing time to move on
It's time to fix what's been broken too long
Time to make right what has been wrong
It's time to find my way to where I belong
There's a wave that's crashing over me
And all I can do is surrender

Whatever You're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but somehow there's peace
It's hard to surrender to what I can't see
but I'm giving in to something Heavenly

Time for a milestone
Time to begin again
Reevaluate who I really am
Am I doing everything to follow Your will
Or just climbing aimlessly over these hills
So show me what it is You want from me
I give everything I surrender to

Whatever You're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but somehow there's peace
It's hard to surrender to what I can't see
but I'm giving in to something Heavenly

Time to face up
Clean this old house
Time to breathe in and let everything out
That I've wanted to say for so many years
Time to release all my held back tears

Whatever You're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but I believe
You're up to something bigger than me
Larger than life something Heavenly

Whatever You're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but now I can see
This is something bigger than me
Larger than life something Heavenly
Something Heavenly

Thanks, Sonia.

Soul Goodness.

2008-11-25T18:29:00.000+08:00

This man is now blogging. I highly recommend checking him out. It's a very worthy read.

And I'm on a soul kick from the 60s and 70s these days, spurred on by a song by Gladys Knight.

Check out this goodness:

Yesss.

Perspective.

2008-11-22T16:35:00.000+08:00

There are more and more days in which I find the words, "I have the coolest job in the world" coming forth from my mouth. This morning was another one of those.

After our two Saturday morning classes, Jimmy and I started out on our walk home. As usual, we have several students who walk with us, as they live in the same direction. They usually straggle behind, doddle on the sides of the road talking, or run ahead. Today, however, the kids were a bit more clingy and eagerly grabbed our hands and walked beside us. We usually go around the alley they all live down and take the main road, but today, with the insistence of the kids, we walked with them into their neighborhood.

Small, poor homes and rickety shops opened to the narrow alley sandwiched between old, small apartment buildings. This alley lead to many others, each branching off in it's own mystery and level of poverty. It felt like we were a small parade. Here we were, 2 tall white foreigners, and 20 Chinese children walking, talking, and laughing. Adults looked up from their work, poked heads out doors, peeked around doorways, to see us coming. We passed a massive, old, vine covered tree where several kids had gone before and were already playing. They eagerly jumped from its mighty branches to join our little band. I held the hand of several girls, but one stuck by the whole walk. Her name is Mary.

Mary is a 5th grader and probably one of the smartest kids at the school, in her English as well as other studies. She is a little lady, very responsible, always watching the world around her, loving, and eager to learn. She, I believe, is the oldest child in her family and therefore has had to grow up much faster than most kids her age. She cooks, cleans, does housework, homework, and looks after younger siblings while her parents work all day. Though Jimmy is her teacher and she loves him dearly, I've always felt this little pull in her to be near me, to talk to me, most likely because I am female. As we walked and she talked of her home and neighborhood with her limited English, I couldn't help but smile. What a beautiful opportunity I have been given this year, to love these kids. As we came to the cross street where she lives, she tugged on my arm to go home with her. "Not today," I said. I do so hope someday though...

I am learning perspective in China. Many people here have asked why I would come here; to a busy, dirty, traffic congested, industrial city to teach poor kids. I always smile. Yes, I am getting paid and with that am able to pay off some student debt, yes, I get to see the world and live abroad, but there is so much more than that. It's all about perspective. I have been called this year to live and to love these people, these kids. Seeing the joy on their faces, watching them learn, understand, and apply their learning, watching my often frugal attempts to teach them a language and give them hope for a brighter future - it's priceless. It's about who I serve, who He is my life, and how that flows forth. That is why I am here. I daily am reminded of that. On days when I don't want to teach, I'm tired, or discouraged, the old motto from my summers at Indian Hills Camp rings through my brain, "This may be your 8th week of camp, but it's these campers' first!" Well for me in China its, "This may be your 3rd English class today, but it's their 1st - make it the best one ever!"

Perspective. It changes everything. He changes everything. He changes how I live, how I love, why I love. I truly do have the coolest job in the world.

In my life be lifted high
In my world be lifted high
In my love be lifted high

I'm in need...

2008-11-20T17:22:00.000+08:00

...and in search of some good jazz. I've got a bunch, but I'm itching for something new. It always reminds me of this time of year.

Any suggestions??

Please.

Apart yet a part.

2008-11-18T15:55:00.000+08:00

I sat in my room today, feeling a cool China breeze blow through my window, staring out at a gray sky. I am home sick with the flu/a cold and as people take colds seriously here, I am ordered to rest so I don't infect any of my little ones.

As I lay on my bed editing photos and listening to Chinese Christmas music, I thought about the map that hangs on my wall. It is of the world, all the country maps, and timezones, surround by photos of my loved ones. I stopped as I realized how symbolic it is of my life.

The photos (unpurposefully) form a heart around the globe. Ironic. Here I am living in China. I have traveled to several places in this world (each highlighted on the map) and I have loved/do love it. But all those people in those photographs are not here. My heart has been stolen by this world, by it's needs, and it's people. But it is also so taken with people back home, in America.

Sometimes I ask why I have been brought here. Why me, an art major, with no experience teaching, who struggled in school, who dearly loves family and friends, would leave all that behind and come to China to do the very thing I don't know? Why would I choose to leave the culture I was born in and the familiarity, security, and freedom of home? Why has my heart been wrapped around this world only to have to say goodbye and leave some of the things I care about most?

The title of my senior show at Biola came to my mind: A PART. Also a few choruses from an old garage worship band I loved in highschool called Vella, began to stream from my computer:

And I have fallen for you
God there is no one else

I have left, I am here, because I am a part of something greater - we all are. But I am also apart from many people I deeply love. It is hard at times. It is lonely at times. My heart has been wrapped around this world, it's countries, it's cultures, it's languages, and it's lost souls. But it has also been wrapped around people I dearly love in America. Sometimes it feels like it's being stretched too far, that the distance is too great to bear alone. But then I remember truth and words like what Vella sings:

And I will follow you
With all that I am
I will run to you Lord
With every breath I breathe
I give to you
You're the only thing I want

If that is what being in China is all about for me then it's worth it. If going, being, serving, and falling in love with people all over is all about leading me back to Him, then it is worth it. His heart broke first for this world and as his follower, mine will too. That sometimes means saying goodbye, being alone, being foreign, being white in a sea of yellow. But it's worth it.

I miss: fall leaves, the smell of home, pine trees, San Diego beaches, raw vegetables, Mexican food, hugs, being known.

I love: Asian smiles, eating with chopsticks, Shantou sunrises, tea, my school, my students, Chinese markets, unexpected gifts from new friends.

It's worth it. So very worth it.

I was inspired.

2008-11-15T21:15:00.000+08:00

Tonight I was inspired.

I have been fighting the symptoms of the flu today, so after my Saturday classes this morning, I have been home resting, trying to sleep, and fight it off with vitamins, herbs, and water. My Mom has trained me well!

After being cooked a simple dinner by my dear roommate Sammy, I crawled into bed with my heavy head and aching body to watch the 1958 movie, The Inn of the Sixth Happiness, a story based off the life of missionary Gladys Aylward. As I watched this old movie, with the old view of China, now so changed in our 21st century, I smiled, a bit tearfully, in humble sympathy. A stubborn, independent, visionary woman, leaves her home of England by herself, for an unknown land, not knowing the language, not knowing what will happen, to share love with it's people - true, honest, genuine love.

She walks through life seeing only children -- not complicated or cruel. Just dirty ones needing to be washed, fed, and loved.

Though I'm sure this movie is an overly dramatized version of the true story (one I now commit to read!), I felt her tears, her frustrations, her disappointments, her heartbreaks, her joys, her successes. The impact she made throughout northern China, the people she connected with, the lives she touched and saved in so many ways, is absolutely inspiring. I don't know how much of the movie's rendition is accurate, but if it is, it leaves me speechless at her courage, her bravery, her perseverance, her commitment, her dedication, her love. I want to love the beautiful people of my modern day China like that. It's not as easy, I'm not a remote village, but the potential is equally as great.

Sammy asked me tonight if I will stay in China. She has asked me that many times since I came. I told her I do not know. There is much at this time that would make me consider staying longer: the kids, the future of the school, continued learning of the language, planting my roots firmer in this community of people, consistent pay. But there is much at home that draws me back as well. I do not know. All I know is right now I am being called to China, to Rong Chang Hope School, to Shantou. The rest of up to Him.

A life that is planned is a closed life, my friend. It can be endured perhaps, but it cannot be lived.

Thank you, Gladys Aylward, for inspiring this one, young, American girl similarly walking in your footsteps so many years later. Your life, your testimony, brings tears to my eyes, courage to my heart, and hope to my soul.

Sometimes I think my life really started in China.
I think this journey was meant for me.

Thank you.

There are days...

2008-11-14T21:39:00.000+08:00

...where I stop, smile, and think I have the raddest, coolest, most awesome job in the world. period.

Today was one of those days.

After a successful day of fun classes and review games, myself, all the other teachers, and 8 select kids, waited around the school for about an hour to go out to dinner together with Mr. Siu. While waiting, I was able to do one of the raddest things ever: watch those kids play and practice their Chinese instruments for our upcoming Christmas program at the school. Yes, all those beautiful, mysterious, Asian sounds so stereotypical to this region, were being plucked and strummed right before me. Two of my students showed me how to hit a few notes on the Yanqin, another few let me attempt to play on this little violin type thing called an Er-Hu (which when I tried, ended up sounding more like a dying chicken rather than music), another few let me plunk on the Chinese piano, or Guzheng. Absolutely amazing. wow. SO beautiful. SO rad. SO very fun!!

We then all piled into vans and headed to a Northern Chinese restaurant. It was so fun to listen to the kids giggle and watch them enjoy this special feast. They got to show off their English knowledge to Mr. Siu and the other company guests and I took pride in hearing them answer with confidence my English questions. It made me feel like all my hard work in teaching these past 2 months is truly paying off. They are indeed learning.

After dinner, Mr. Siu, myself, Jimmy, the kids, and Mrs. Wong all headed to McDonalds to get ice cream - or "bin qi lin", as they say in Mandarin. It was here my "I have the coolest job in the world" feelings were completely confirmed. Why? Because after stuffing our faces with chocolate sundaes, I got to crawl around the McDonalds playplace with my kids. Oh yes, teacher Jen, waaay to big for the slide, slid anyways, surrounded by the sounds of laughter, cheers, applause, and hands pulling me up, in, and down over and over again. It was absolutely amazing. These kids don't have much, and seeing the joy on their faces was priceless. Their smiles, their sweaty faces, their laughter was so worth my dirty knees, being crammed in a plastic tube reeking of stinky feet, and crawling through a space far to small for my 23 year-old body to go.

I truly have the coolest job in the world.

Here are some photos to share with you just a glimpse of it. They're not good, but they say so very much, and they are priceless.
Enjoy.

1st Grade - captured from Jimmy's camera phone

2nd Grade

Mikey and Johnny talking to Evan over Skype

I have a confession...

2008-11-14T09:10:00.000+08:00

In looking over my blog, I realize that many of my photos look a bit drab. Quite drab actually. This is partially because I haven't edited any of them (I'm lacking in time and resources) and also because the weather here is random and unpredictable: cloudy, hazy, smoggy, rainy, then sunny, hot, all with this strange sub-tropic lighting that I'm still figuring out how to shoot.

My confession and realization is that I need to actually work on my photos before posting them. One, to be professional, and two, to keep up my editing skills - which are, essential, in digital work these days. Not a ton, but just a bit. My apologies for my lack of profession.

So here's to photoshopping...but only a little.

Gah.

Xiamen.

2008-11-12T19:35:00.000+08:00

This past weekend the kids had their national semester testing, so Jimmy and I had a 3 day weekend and decided to head north to the coastal city of Xiamen. It wasn't what we expected, but ended up being a delightful experience. And China is indeed beautiful.

Our adventure began early in the morning at a Chinese bus station. It's truly crazy to enter a building where the only sign you can read is "TOILET." We drove 3 hours through gorgeous green China countryside.

We went to the famous island of Gu Lang and stayed at a quirky hostel - my first experience at one - and bunked with some overly friendly mosquitos.

Gu Lang was not what we expected. We thought: island, beaches, waves, tropical and wild, not a ton of people, right? Wrong. Gu Lang is a huge tourist destination island complete with cutely paved roads, decorative street lamps, shops, sea food restaurants, hotels, French influenced quaint buildings, etc. But there is a college of art and design and a music school on the island. Random but actually quite enjoyable.

The trees were insanely amazing!

We walked around the whole island which delightfully took about 5 hours total. We wandered down on some golden beaches...

We ate purple ice cream and drank out of a coconut...

We climbed around a wall and snuck into an abandoned and closed off building - we thought it was the old hospital...

We watched the city at night and then followed people into a tunnel which took us to the inner side of the island, where the "real" people live and work away from the glitz and glamour.

The next day we got caught in a wonderful storm. We found a cute little American restaurant, sat outside under a huge umbrella, ate fluffy pancakes, potatoes, omlettes, and fresh juice, all while watching the storm pass across the green ocean before us, showering rain. Beautiful.
A cool strong breeze, dark clouds, the green churning sea = AMAZing.

Shantou, Jiexi, Hong Kong, Xiamen.
4 cities down.
Now like 10 gabillion more to go...isn't China exciting?

Yes.

2008-11-11T12:56:00.000+08:00

Joyful, joyful, we adore thee,
God of glory, Lord of love;
hearts unfold like flowers before thee,
opening to the sun above.
Melt the clouds of sin and sadness;
drive the dark of doubt away.
Giver of immortal gladness,
fill us with the light of day!

All thy works with joy surround thee,
earth and heaven reflect thy rays,
stars and angels sing around thee,
center of unbroken praise.
Field and forest, vale and mountain,
flowery meadow, flashing sea,
chanting bird and flowing fountain,
call us to rejoice in thee.

Thou art giving and forgiving,
ever blessing, ever blest,
well-spring of the joy of living,
ocean depth of happy rest!
Thou our Father, Christ our brother,
all who live in love are thine;
teach us how to love each other,
lift us to the joy divine.

Mortals, join the mighty chorus
which the morning stars began;
love divine is reigning o'er us,
binding all within its span.
Ever singing, march we onward,
victors in the midst of strife;
joyful music leads us sunward,
in the triumph song of life.

Christmas is coming.
I am excited.

FALL!

2008-11-10T12:21:00.001+08:00

Well, sort of.

Okay, so we really don't have it in Shantou, a coastal southern city, but today it DID feel like it! It was about 75 degrees and everyone was wearing longsleeves and sweaters. haha. I never thought I'd consider 75 fall, but I'll take what I can get.

And I want to go here. bad.

Anyone want to join?

I went to Hong Kong...

2008-11-09T14:58:00.001+08:00

...and it is is indeed BIG, BUSY, CRAMMED, and exciting!

I had to take a "business trip" (how rad is that?!?) to renew my visa since China won't let me do it in country anymore. And this is what I found...

city. city. city.

The subway...or MTR rather

A yummy little street market - one of my favorite things about China. People set up their fruits and veggies anywhere and everywhere!

Dim Sum...yummmm...

Lafayette HK office staff, my new buddies :)

Flower Market Road!

flowers! flowers! flowers!

There was even a shop with Christmas stuff which made my day!

Fuzzy flowers! I think the were called Rooster Crowns or something like that...

Can we say gorgeous?!

I like walls.

Exiting the subway into the unknown...ANND....

TADA! Kong Kong Island!

An adorable elderly couple.
And the man was shooting with an old school Nikon.
yesss.
I don't know how to shoot a city, much less one as big as HK, so I shot a fishing boat and city. Old meets new, I guess.

And finally, Hong Kong at night.

I shot the moon. w 0 0 t.

A lovely trip.
Lovely new friends.
A lovely time wandering and exploring a HUGE and fascinating city.

Yay for successfully traveling Asia by oneself!